Page 96 of Love Bomb

“Right,” Darach said, obviously trying to gain control of the meeting. “Let’s start brainstorming ideas for getting Benson Security out of the way.” He stepped behind one of the sofas and tapped the whiteboard he’d put up earlier in the evening. “Don’t be shy, there are no bad ideas.”

Bain wasn’t so sure about that.

“We could create an emergency nearby,” Shona said. “Maybe a little fire that they would feel obliged to put out. That should keep them occupied long enough for Bain to blow up the folly. There’s a dumpster behind the church that would work.”

Bain blinked. The job was literally turning into a dumpster fire.

“I don’t think we should set fire to the church. Or anything else,” Dougal said. “What if an alarm went off back at the Benson Security office? Would that make the men return to headquarters?”

“I don’t think so,” Kirsty said. “The night supervisor would just call the cops.”

“Could we tempt them away with treats?” Brenda asked.

“If you’re talking baked goods,” Kade said, “then probably not. Strippers? Maybe.”

The women considered him thoughtfully.

“Might be a bit cold to strip,” Rona said at last.

Bain’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. Had she actually contemplated stripping?

“The baked goods aren’t such a bad idea,” Margaret said. “If we took them some snacks, we could lace them with laxatives, then they’d have to go to the toilet. That would keep them out of the way long enough to get the job done.”

“Why laxatives instead of sleeping pills?” Shona asked. “Seems to me that knocking them out would be more effective. And less messy.”

Brenda leaned forward in her seat, looking around Margaret to reply to Shona. “I feel that the men should remain conscious, but restrained if necessary. I’m morally opposed to knocking people out.”

But apparently making them crap themselves was fine.

Dougal nodded. “We could make a batch of cookies laced with laxatives.”

“Where will we get laxatives at this time of night?” Conall asked.

Everyone over the age of sixty looked at him with pity.

“Don’t worry,” Shona said. “Between us, we could stock a pharmacy. We’ll find the laxatives we need.”

“Okay,” Darach said, making a note on his whiteboard. “Dougal will take drugged cookies and drinks to the men. Wait, how long do laxatives take to work?”

“I’ve got some pretty fast acting ones.” Jean, another of the Knit or Die women, stopped knitting long enough to reply. “Half an hour maybe?”

Darach updated the whiteboard. “Half an hour before Bain needs to start work on the folly, Dougal will deliver drugged snacks to Benson Security. I will ensure that the church is open and the toilets are fully stocked with paper.”

“What if they don’t eat the cookies?” Brenda asked.

“I know!” Jean said, putting aside her half-finished sock. “We can pretend to have car trouble and ask for help. And when they’re beside the car, we zap them and shove them in the back.”

“Then what?” Rona asked.

“I guess we tie them up then drive them far away from the folly,” Jean said, returning to her knitting.

“I think that would work,” Darach said, adding it to the board.

“Should we wear masks?” Shona said. “I mean, the Benson Security people are going to see our faces. Shouldn’t we have disguises?”

“Nobody is going to take cookies from a masked man,” Rona pointed out.

“You’re right,” Shona said. “Dougal will have to play the part of himself. But what about the rest of us?”