Page 19 of Mistletoe All the Way

“Oh, c’mon,” I say, pacing in his living room with Rusty lounging on the floor and watching me with one eye open. I’ve been staying at Chris’s place since I arrived, as I always do when I’m in town. “You know you’ll never be able to fire Vince on your own. Just think of how much money you’ll save when you hire a new wealth advisor with lower fees. Thanks to me,” I say, trying once more to make my favor-for-a-favor case.

Chris sighs, setting the brush down as he picks up a red-and-white-striped scarf and ties it loosely around Millie’s neck. “Nope.”

I stop in my tracks, the fire in his living room crackling loudly behind me, the lights on the tree flashing red, blue, and purple. “You do like money?” I ask.

“I really do,” he says with a rare frown. He reaches for an antler headband on the couch cushion. “But the thing is, I can’t pull it off.”

“Pull what off?”

“Pretending to be you,” he says, then smiles, wide and bright, like he’ll do on camera when he shoots a video later with Millie.

“Mr. Holiday is tailor-made for you. You’re stitched by elves or something.”

He tilts his head as he sets the antler headband on Millie’s head. “Aww. That’s so sweet. I assume you were handmade by Krampus?”

“Obviously. Which is why I’ll enter, but you’ll play me. Which means you’ll win, Gramps will see I’m loved by the town, and we can keep the farm on the good side of the family. You know Stephen is up to some sneaky shit.”

“Of course he is. It’s literally on-brand for him. I don’t know why no one else seems to see through that guy,” he says.

“Because they didn’t grow up with him. He just flashes his everyman smile, leans into that bartender role, and boom. That’s enough,” I say, then return to Eloise’s info in the diner. “But did you know he ran into trouble with his bar a few years ago?”

Chris cocks his head. “Have you met me? I never know anything about who’s up to what. Makes life more enjoyable.”

I share the gist of what Eloise told me about Stephen’s bar. “Sure, businesses have struggles, but it’s the kind of intel that makes me wonder if he’s even capable of running the farm. Let alone what he’d do with it.” I tap my chest. “I know how to handle animals, but I also know how to run a tight shop. What if his business troubles are like college all over again, when he liked to party with his buddies, skip class, and then shortcut his way through the hard work?”

Chris snarls, which is rare for him. “A leopard doesn’t change its spots. And with Stephen, no one notices how he gets there since he plays the good-guy role so well.”

“Which is why I need you. And you don’t have to play the part. You are the good guy,” I say, returning to the contest.

He rises and heads to the table, where he’s laid out a chocolate bar, a bottle of wine, some tinsel, a sprig of mistletoe, and a poinsettia plant. “This isn’t going to work, Noah.”

“But you’re good at being outgoing. I can do all your dirty work. Hell, I can run your spay-and-neuter clinic while I’m here if you’d like,” I say, upping the ante because I need him to say yes to playing me in the competition. A week and a half. I might die.

Chris gives me a look like I should know better. “And you think that appeals to me? I like snipping animals and reducing overpopulation.”

He has me there. I love a spay-and-neuter clinic too. “You know what I’m saying. I’ll help out.”

“And what I’m saying is, as much as I would love to take you up on your offer for another pair of hands here, it just won’t work.”

“Why? You said you could win easily. And you could,” I say, stroking his ego even though it pains me.

He strides over to me and claps me on the shoulder. “Because I’d have to pretend to be you the entire holiday season. She thinks you’re entering—not me. You said you told her to put Noah down for the contest. So I’d have to be a guy stitched together by Krampus for almost two weeks.” He shakes his head. “I can’t pretend I’m a jerk that long.”

“On principle?”

“No,” he says, putting on his Let me explain this in simple terms voice. “I’m just naturally charming. I’ll revert back to my natural state of being charismatic, and everyone would know you were cheating, and Stephen would get the farm, since you’d be even less liked in town.”

And… he just checked me. He’s right. “For Krampus’s sake,” I mutter.

“You’re going to have to do this, Noah. But I have faith in you. I can even give you pointers. Like this one—smile more.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He nods to the table full of Christmas items that are harmful to pets. “Now, Millie and I need to shoot a video on keeping your pets safe during the holidays. And I guess I’ll just have to pretend I’m you when I fire Vince.”

“Good luck with that. He’s probably going to send you a gift basket for the holidays.”

Chris gulps, and his eyes go wide.