Page 89 of Unnecessary Drama

‘They’re at that little bar a few streets over,’ she says. ‘I’ll walk with you.’

We step outside together. It’s dusk, the sun is setting, the air is cold but not too cold, and I am about to do the bravest, stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

37

We’ve been hovering outside the bar for ten minutes because I’m having second thoughts.

‘You’re right. There’s no way this is going to go well,’ I say.

‘No, you did not drag me out all this way to chicken out,’ Harper says. ‘Also, I’m cold.’

‘I didn’t drag you, it was your idea to come! And Amber is your friend. You want me to ruin her date?’ I say. Secretly, I am pleased that Harper is on my side over Amber’s, even though I am objectively the villain in this scenario.

‘Oh, she’s still totally hung up on her ex.’ Harper waves her hand. ‘We had to really work hard to convince her to go on this date. She’ll be fine.’

‘Oh. Well now I feel bad for Jesse.’

‘A hot girl is about to tell him she’s into him. He’ll be fine.’

‘You think I look hot?’ I say.

‘You are smoking hot. And incredibly smart. You are too good for Jesse, too good for Henry, too good for Tristan, too good for any man really. But if Jesse is the one you want, go for it. This is going to be the best night of your life.’

‘Wow,’ I say. ‘You are good at pumping people up.’

‘I know.’ She smiles. ‘It’s kind of a specialty of mine.’

I hug her quickly, steel myself, and walk up to the bar door.

Harper calls out, ‘Brooke!’

I turn, expect her to say one final uplifting thing.

Instead she says, ‘I’m going to buy sweet-potato chips on my way home. Should I get extra for you?’

‘No,’ I say, and it’s the most rashly confident thing I’ve said all day, because if this goes badly, I’m going to want those chips.

I turn back to the bar, open the door and walk in. My plan is to spot Jesse and Amber, and to walk over and politely ask Jesse if I can speak with him, and then bring him to a corner of the bar, out of sight, and say something heartfelt, and then I’ll go outside and wait for him to gently extract himself from the date.

And then we’ll go home, hand in hand, and—

And what?

Go to his bedroom and have sex straight away? With Harper sitting in the lounge? A love declaration and sex feels like a lot of levels jumped, all at once. But we already live together, so maybe it doesn’t matter. I falter. I haven’t really thought beyond the gooey feelings, of offloading them onto him—here take all this—to that part, the expectations, the rest of the night, the next day, and the one after that. My stomach drops. No, no, no, focus on the now. I’ll never do anything if I have to plan out the days and weeks and months that come after it. We’ll make rules, we’ll make a plan, it’ll be fine. Think back to what we told Tristan. We can make whatever rules we need, later. I can get it printed up, spiral-bound.

Be spontaneous, be spontaneous.

Maybe I’ll just pull out my phone and make a rough plan now, to show him, of how the relationship could progress, physically and emotionally, or a graph, a nice clean—

‘Brooke?’ Jesse says. He and Amber are standing in front of me.

‘Oh hi!’ I say, as if I am very surprised.

‘What are you doing here?’ Jesse says. I think his hand is resting on Amber’s back and she’s definitely leaning into him. Their body language is very we are into this. Oh god.

‘Hi, I’m Brooke,’ I smile at Amber, mostly to avoid the question.

‘My housemate,’ Jesse says.