Page 90 of Stanton Adore

“I’m mad at you, Josh.”

“I know,” he whispers, and he runs his fingers up and down my arm. We stay silent, both lost in our own thoughts while looking at each other. “I can’t handle fighting with you tonight. We haven’t spoken in three days. Let me stay and we will talk about it in the morning.”

I narrow my eyes as I sum up his words. He acts like he cares. Does he truly care or is it an act?

“You won’t be here in the morning, Josh. We both know that,” I sigh.

“You know why I never stay with you, Presh?” My eyes tear up and I shake my head. I can’t say the reason I know out loud because it just hurts too much. He can’t even bear to look at me as he does the walk of shame. He’s just that ashamed that we have been together and every time I think of this reality my heart breaks just that little bit further.

“Because I can’t handle saying goodbye to you,” he whispers. “I never want to say goodbye. This is not easy on me either you know.” His voice betrays a deep sadness, much like the one I’m feeling myself. The tightness in my throat hurts as I try to suppress the tears that threaten again. Stop saying things like that. You’re fucking with my head.

“Baby, don’t cry,” he whispers as he wipes a lone tear that rolls down my face.

“Josh, we are not going to make it, are we? The hill is just too steep. We have too much against us.” My heart rate picks up as I try to grip the reality of the situation, my lip quivers and I sob out loud. There is no way out of this. If I stay, I get hurt. If I leave…I can’t even face that reality, and pain laces through my chest. I already know what awaits me. He stays silent as he sums up my words and he leans his forehead in to touch mine. I run my fingers through the sideburns of his hair and down his jawline along his heavy stubble and his eyes close at the contact. He has an air of resignation about him. I can feel it. I know, because I have it myself. “Can’t you just shut up and look pretty?” he whispers as he bites his lip. I stifle a giggle. I did not expect him to say that but it’s frigging funny. Trust him to put our saying into that context. I know in my heart I don’t have him for long. In fact, tonight is probably going to be our last night together. Once I give him an ultimatum tomorrow, and I will be, I know he won’t hang around, that’s if I even hear from him after I wake up alone. We both know it’s only a matter of time until his mother gets to him.

“Josh, I think you are probably better suited to be with Amelie,” I whisper. “You should go home to her.” My heart breaks as I close my eyes. I mentally kick myself. I swore that I wouldn’t do this tonight, but I’m not strong enough to stop myself. He grabs my chin and rips it up to his face.

“You listen to me,” he growls. “You are the only woman I want. I don’t want Amelie. I. Want. You.”

My eyes tear up again. “Baby, I can’t do this…this casual thing. We are either together or we are not. It’s messing with my head too much, Josh. It’s breaking my heart.”

He swallows and nods. “Mine too.” I frown at him—he says the most confusing things. What does that mean?

He stays silent. “Then let’s be together,” he whispers. “I want to be with you, Tash. Do you want to be with me is the question?”

My eyes meet his. “Yes, you know I do.” He gently grabs my face with his hands and passionately swipes his tongue between my lips.

“Then, be mine.” The finality in his tone sends my pheromones into overdrive and goose bumps scatter over my body.

“Are you mine, Josh?”

He smiles. “I told you already. Completely.” There is that word that I love again. Completely. He kisses me again more urgently. “If I rip these pajamas will you throw them out?” he smiles into my neck.

I giggle. “Then what would I wear to bed?”

He grabs my behind and grinds his hips forward, circling his pubic bone against my clitoris. “Me.” I smile, hmm, I do like the sound of that. “You think you want to be my girlfriend but there are stipulations, you know.”

I smile as I listen to the words he is saying. Girlfriend, I like it, I like it a lot.

“Like what?” I whisper.

“Definitely no pajamas, and I need a lot more sex than you have been giving me.” He has that look in his eyes that I love, the one that makes me scream in ecstasy. “You’ve had me on rations and I’m not coping. A man’s not a camel you know.”

I smile as his oral assault moves lower. “Tell me something. As your girlfriend how often will I be given sex? I mean, you’re not the only one who has a healthy appetite.”

He smiles at me. “You will be well fed, put it that way.” I frown and smile, how are we not fighting? Just when I think I can read how a situation is going to go, it goes the other way. My hands run over his strong large shoulders.

“What are you going to feed me?” I run my fingers roughly through his hair, desire starting to take me over as my legs fall open wider. He rolls me onto my back and bites my neck.

“Cock,” he whispers. Mmm, I get a rush of moisture to my core. “Tongue.” He kisses me slowly, his tongue demanding arousal, and again my blood heats. “Fingers and toes.” He smiles again into my neck.

“Toes?” I giggle. He nods as he starts to slowly unbutton my top as his mouth follows his hands. First one nipple in his mouth and then the other. He grabs my other breast roughly in his hand and pulls my top open to his searing gaze.

“I can’t get enough of your body.” He cracks his neck. From the lounge room his phone beeps a text. “Fuck off,” he whispers into my stomach at his phone. I smile up at the ceiling like an idiot and then it beeps again. He growls and keeps sucking on my breast, his hand sliding down my pajama bottoms. “These are going in the fucking garbage.” He smiles.

“OK. I will buy a onesie.”

He lifts his head to look at me and frowns.