Page 103 of Mortis

My heart stumbled. I’d noticed it myself, of course I had. The way Kael looked at me sometimes, like I was something precious. Something worth protecting.

He’d called me his treasure.

But considering my self-esteem rivalled a sinkhole, there was always a tiny voice in the back of my head telling me I was imagining it. Seeing what I wanted to see because I wanted it so fucking badly. But now Grandad had seen it too, which meant I wasn’t delusional.

Kael really did look at me that way.

And maybe I wasn’t a little bit in love with him after all.

Maybe I was just in love with him. Period.

Grandad’s smile faded into something more thoughtful, and his gaze wandered towards Mr Simpson’s body on the metal table.

“I used to worry about what growing up here might do to you,” he admitted quietly. “You struggled to make friends. Preferred being on your own. And Christ, I caught that little head of yours poking through the embalming room door more times than I could count.”

My mouth twitched when I remembered.

A much younger version of me opening that heavy door as quietly as possible and peeking around it to see what Grandad was doing.

Grandad gently scolding me for ignoring the warning signs before sending me back out front to Grandma.

Anatomy books before bed because fairy tales bored me. Because I didn’t want to know about princesses and dragons. I wanted to know the difference between veins and arteries.

“You always seemed more comfortable back here than you did out there.” Grandad nodded towards the door. “You chose the quiet of the mortuary over people, and when you grew up, your world became this place, me, and Lo.”

“I wasn’t lonely, because I had you and Lo,” I insisted.

Grandad reached for me again, squeezing my arm.

“I know. And I know we made you happy. You made us happy too, I’d never question that.” He paused and tilted his head. “I just wondered whether you were content because this was genuinely all you wanted, or because you’d convinced yourself you didn’t need anything more.”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

Grandad scratched thoughtfully at his jaw. “I suppose I worried I’d taught you so well how to care for the dead that you’d forgotten you were supposed to be living too.”

My eyes burned again. This time, blinking wasn’t enough to stop a tear from slipping down my cheek. Grandad’s expression softened immediately, and he reached up and wiped it away with his thumb.

“Arlo and I love you,” he said. “And your happiness means the world to us. But we can’t give you what you’re discovering with Kael.”

I managed a wobbly smile. “Be pretty weird if you did.”

“What I mean, you little bugger,” Grandad chuckled, giving the end of my nose a light tap. “Is that you’re different since Kael came along.”

“Different how?”

“You come out front more, for one.”

“Terrifying,” I murmured.

“You laugh more.”

I scoffed. “I laughed before.”

He nodded. “You did. But there’s something different about it now. You get excited about things because you’re imagining how he’ll react to them. You’re always planning what you’re going to show him next, or what ridiculous thing you want him to eat.”

I swallowed.

“And you talk about things you want to do months from now. Christmas. New Year. Birthdays. Things you never bothered to think about until you had to.” His arms dropped to his sides, and he looked directly into my eyes. “You were happy before him, Teddy. I know that. But since that lad came along, you’re excited about being happy tomorrow too.”