Page 17 of Hate You Most

The question hung unanswered in the air between them for just a second too long. Dakota had just won gold, yet she wasn't the least bit happy about it. She understood that feeling better than anyone.

“No, no—I am happy and I am proud,” she shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. “I just—I'm annoyed.”

“Annoyed about what?”

Dakota hesitated, eyes flicking toward the door before returning to her. “Well, the rumors for starters.”

Rumors. Viktoriya had not heard anything bad being said about Dakota, only that she was a good skater and a threat to her future Olympic medal.

Viktoriya’s posture stiffened. “What rumors?”

Dakota laughed once, short and humorless. “Take your pick. But lately? Everyone thinks I’m a lesbian.” She said it flatly and without any emotion. “Coaches, officials, commentators. Idiots online and the press. It’s all anyone wants to talk about.”

Viktoriya didn’t immediately respond. A strange tightness formed in her chest that she didn’t quite understand.

“And?” she asked carefully.

“And it’s exhausting,” Dakota continued. “I smile too much, I'm too emotional. I don’t date guys, I tell everyone that I'm too focused on skating and that's somehow the wrong thing to say. I hug my teammates the wrong way. I stand with my fucking head toward the wall whenever we change together, so nobody gets uncomfortable with me. It's become a story of speculation instead of how I'm skating.” Her jaw tightened. “I just won gold today, but that's not what anyone cares to talk about. I’m so tired of people acting like they know something that's so personal about me and thinking I owe them any explanation.”

The silence stretched between them.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Dakota looked at her then, eyes searching for something in her own. She exhaled slowly, then broke away, gaze dropping for a moment before lifting again. “I thought you could relate.”

Viktoriya stiffened. “To rumors?”

The only rumors that surrounded her back in Russia were whether she would win an Olympic gold medal and whether her opponent would be Sanchez. If rumors of her being romantically involved with another woman ever got out—well, she would rather not think about what would happen then.

“Forget it,” Dakota declared and moved from the bed to the door in a second.

Viktoriya stayed where she was, suddenly aware of how unfamiliar this kind of conversation was. It wasn’t something she had ever talked about properly, not where she was from. Everyone in Russia knew the consequences of living a life like that, so it wasn't even a topic of discussion.

“So, you are a lesbian?” Viktoriya asked. “You sleep with women?”

“Fuck, sorry—it doesn’t matter.”

“What?” Viktoriya asked. “No, why are you telling me this?”

“No, I'm sorry. I… um, I miscalculated the situation. I shouldn't have told you that, it doesn't matter.”

“You sleep with women?” Her brain was malfunctioning and the only recurring thought in her mind was that Dakota slept with women. Dakota slept with and kissed women, just as she herself did with men.

Dakota tilted her head slightly. “Sometimes,” she said. “Apparently that’s enough for everyone to decide the rest.”

“Men?” Viktoriya asked and moved across the dimly lit room. She felt exactly like the people she knew Dakota despised, because somehow this information was way more interesting to her than the gold medal Dakota had won tonight.

Dakota’s mouth curved, just a little. “Sometimes,” she repeated. “Mostly I don’t think it’s anyone’s business.”

Dakota looked at her for a long second, expression unreadable. Her body was pressed against the door to the hallway as if she couldn't bear being closer to Viktoriya than this.

“Why?” Dakota asked, looking at her with something that closely mimicked curiosity. “Does it bother you?”

“No,” Viktoriya said immediately. It should have bothered her, it was considered a punishable crime where she was from. But Viktoriya herself wasn't doing anything illegal, and she was sure that just talking with Dakota would be fine. Nobody could punish her for just talking, everybody talked.

Dakota hummed, unconvinced. “You say things very confidently for someone who claims she doesn’t care.”

Viktoriya’s jaw tightened. “I am just not used to people discussing this openly.”