Page 61 of Salto

“You good?” he asked.

Not really. I’m sort of freaking out. But I wasn’t about to say that.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

“The intention of these private sessions is to help you develop some control.”

I nodded, listening intently. I was still trying to figure out how he thought he could actually help me.

“When we feel pain during a skill, our instinct is to tighten around it. We focus on it, and that creates a loss of control everywhere else. That's when skills become dangerous.”

I opened my mouth to ask how in the world he planned to teach me that, but he continued before I had the chance.

“We'll do breath work, core activation exercises, and tension-and-release exercises.”

He sounded so confident, like he'd done this before. I'd had previous coaches who could wrap an ankle. Caldwell could help put things back in place, like if a shoulder popped out. But none of them had ever done "breath work." Or anything that sounded much like what some sort of physical therapist would do.

“No offense,” I blurted before he could continue, “but how do you know this will work?”

The corner of his mouth lifted.

“Doubting me already?”

I rolled my eyes. “Look, it sounds legit. I'm just not sure breathing is going to fix…” I gestured at myself. “…this.”

He nodded, pursing his lips. Silence stretched between us, doing nothing to calm my nerves.

“I know because I had to learn it myself,” he finally said.

He had to learn it?

“Why?” I blurted, too curious to stop myself.

He sighed.

“Are you going to waste this entire hour asking me questions, or are you going to let me help you?”

I flushed a little, realizing I was grilling him unintentionally, and shook my head.

“I’m going to let you help me.”

“Thank you,” he said. “Now can you tell me how often you experience pain?”

“Um, well, it’s sort of constant.”

His eyebrows shot up, as if he wasn’t expecting that answer. The surprise lasted only a moment before his expression settled back into a focused intensity.

“Always?”

“Yeah, and certain things make it worse.” I gestured to my back. “I feel pain here a lot, and here.” I pointed to my abdomen. “I also feel it here, but not as much as my back.”

“Anywhere else?”

“Sometimes there's… pelvic pain,” I admitted.

For a split second, I regretted saying it. Maybe that had been too much information.

He simply nodded. “Okay.”