Page 37 of Salto

My breath fell out of me like a mini gut punch.

A few other girls next to me seemed to have a similar reaction.

“Don’t worry,” he said, a half-smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll be spotting you.”

He designated a bar for each of the three skills.

I specifically headed to the farthest one and started with Jaegers. Something I was already comfortable with.

I did my best to focus on the skill at hand. But much like the feeling of knowing you'll have to read a paragraph aloud in class, I couldn't stop thinking about my impending doom. Eventually, I'd have to walk over to that bar and do a Tkatchev with Rove.

It was the skill.

The very skill I'd fallen on all those years ago. The one that ended my Olympic dream.

Gradually, time passed, and we rotated a few times until eventually I'd spent so much time on the Pak Salto that Rove had to address me.

“Scarlet,” he called to me.

My head snapped up.

Rove’s bar was empty. It was my turn.

I looked up at him, feeling everything in my body tighten with anxiety.

“Coach,” I said, the word slipping out before I could stop it. It was second nature for me.

Something unreadable flickered across his face before disappearing.

Then he cleared his throat, looking away. “I’m ready for you.”

I forced myself to walk over to him and stepped over the mats, kipping onto the low bar. After a quick cast, I jumped, caught the high bar, and settled into front support, my hips resting against the bar. I immediately stilled.

Suddenly, he was right there.

The spotting block put us nearly eye level, leaving only a few inches between us.

“Alright, have you done one of these before?” he asked.

“Yes,” I admitted. I was looking straight ahead, down at the mat below.

“I’ll spot heavy, but I need you to really go for it.”

“What if I can’t do it?” I said suddenly.

His brow furrowed. “You just said you’ve done it before.”

I paused.

“If you don’t make it, just miss the catch, and I’ll help lower you to the mat.”

I nodded. I knew how to bail out of it. I just worried that the pain would hit at the top, before the release, and my body would crumble like it had last time.

I told myself the only reason that happened was because I’d been overworked and pushing myself to the brink. It had been so long since I’d done anything this intense that my body felt good today. I would be fine.

“It’s easier to just catch it,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I finally turned to face him.