Page 151 of Salto

When I turned to look at him, I realized just how close we suddenly were. There already wasn't much space on an airplane, and in my sleepy haze, my spatial awareness was askew.

I met his steady emerald gaze.

“It's okay,” he said quietly. He made no move to pull away. “You needed sleep.”

“Yeah, I think so,” I admitted.

There was another pause. I debated turning back to the window, but then a question slipped out before I could stop it.

“Do you ever get scared?”

I suddenly asked.

His eyes searched mine, and I thought maybe he wouldn’t answer.

“After Paris,” he finally said. “My back was destroyed. And I thought I’d never do gymnastics again.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Nothing, at first.” A faint smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. “I was stubborn. I thought if I was strong enough to endure it, eventually it would just go away."

Stubborn.

It was at this moment that I saw the mirror for the first time.

“You tried to climb a mountain sideways,” I whispered.

“What?” His brow furrowed.

“Like one of those stupid mountain goats.”

He chuckled, but it was a whisper laugh because everyone around us was sleeping. His head fell back against the headrest for a second, and I felt the subtle shake of his body.

“Yeah, like that…” he said quietly. “I think.”

His smile slowly faded.

“I could’ve kept climbing”

His eyes flickered down to his hands and then back up to my eyes.

“I may have even reached the top,” he said. “But what it would've cost me along the way wasn't worth it.”

The storm I'd managed to quiet while asleep came rushing back all at once.

Surgery.

Fertility.

Gymnastics.

I sat back first and looked out the window again at the endless blanket of clouds stretching beneath us.

I wasn't ready to think about mountains.

Or what reaching the top might cost me.

CHAPTER 54