Page 21 of Sorry

“Okay Sam, call me if you boys need anything and eat more, don’t make me cross.” Pointing her finger at me sternly, and making me giggle.

“Bye Miss Jenny!”

Once home I headed upstairs and gathered the cleaning supplies. Walking into my parents' old room, I took a deep breath and started to clean from top to bottom. Getting it ready for tomorrow; so Alex can move in. I was excited to have a roommate, plus he was very nice to look at. I wasn't going to lie. Of course I knew he was straight, had just got divorced and I ran away from Kyle, like a coward... But I was just happy that I was finding a man attractive. With Kyle I stopped getting erections and stopped getting excited and developed an aversion to sex. He did not completely destroy me. Maybe there was some of the old Sam left in here.

CHAPTER 24

ALEX

Itotally managed to evade an existential crisis, well not totally. I was still a little shaken up by the collapse of life as I knew it. Getting divorced and moving out of the place I fixed up with my bare hands; while dreaming of a happy life, wasn't an easy pill to swallow. I was so blinded by my abandonment issues that I allowed myself to become stuck in a loveless marriage and willingly look like a fool, all because I didn’t want to be alone.

Yesterday, I was sad, lost and terrified of the future. Today, I felt almost relieved, because I had been so scared of this moment of watching it all fall apart — though a part of me has been expecting it. I knew it would happen eventually, so maybe that cushioned the blow. I couldn’t even imagine how I would have felt if I had been blind to her cheating, and having this happen out of nowhere. Fuck! That would have been awful.

I was packing the last of my belongings trying to ignore the mess in my head when I heard footsteps again. Tess passed our bedroom on the way to the kitchen, from the little ‘She-Cave’ she had me build, in the back of the house. She was staying out of my way for the most part, but she couldn't help being nosey.

When she finally broke the silence and asked, “Where are you going to live? Are you going to live with those two dirtbags?” emphasizing her disgust for my friends.

“You lost the right to know where I am, or who I am with. We are divorced, we haven't been a real couple in years. I should have walked out the minute I saw bite marks on your neck; all those years ago when you started cheating on me with anybody who would take you. Those dirtbags you look down on, are better human beings than you'll ever be. No matter how many diamonds you stick onto a pile of shit, it will still be a pile of shit.” That last part came out of nowhere, but felt so fucking good to say. The look of utter shock she had on her face was priceless, she turned around huffing and stormed off.

Matt came to help me when I was finished packing. I left the keys to the house on the kitchen counter and never even bothered saying goodbye. We drove all my stuff over to Sam’s house and he left right after; saying he would let me settle and that we would hang out tomorrow. It was surreal. The guy I couldn't stop thinking about, was going to be my roommate. As I carried my boxes up the stairs and into my new room, Sam came out of it, carrying bundles of bedsheets. He had a smile on his face, and I couldn’t help but notice the bead of sweat that formed on his brow.

“Hey roomie! Welcome to your new home. I changed the sheets now it's all freshly washed and I cleaned the room up. It's ready for you to unpack your stuff. Since it’s lunch time, I have made some tomato soup and I will make grilled cheese sandwiches when we are ready to eat. But first let me show you around.” He was going a mile a minute, like he was excited for me to be here.

“I could have cleaned Sam, but thank you. Let me just drop these boxes in the room and you can give me a quick tour because that tomato soup smells so good right now.” He covered his mouth with his hand and giggled. He was so cute.

Cute… Get a grip Alex.

I just got divorced and now I was ogling a guy. I wouldn't even know what to do with a guy. I would probably embarrass myself. I don’t even know why I was imagining being with him, as if he'd want someone like me. He was so pretty and delicate looking, he would probably go for someone smart and not someone who was covered in dust all day.

Sam waited for me outside his bedroom door and it was then I realized how close our rooms were. We shared a wall, meaning our beds would only be separated by the thin plaster, so close and yet not at all. “It’s not a palace, and giving you a tour is a bit of an exaggeration, but I want to show you where things are so you are more comfortable.” He led me to the door down the hall and opened the door. “This is our shared bathroom. There is a shower, a bath and a double sink. Do you have a preference for which side?”

I lifted my shoulder, shrugging. “I am ok with whichever side you don't use.”

“Ok, I will use the left one because I need to use the hair-dryer.” He said, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.

I note how tidy everything is, he must have spent such a long time cleaning his Baka’s house. I try not to read into it, he was going to do it anyway. Me being here didn’t mean anything. “You’ve done a lot of work, Sam.”

“It was no problem at all, I had too much time on my hands anyway.”

He showed me the kitchen cupboards and drawers. It was the same layout here as downstairs. Kitchen with an island, it was not very spacious but more than enough for two people. It was cozy, the same as downstairs. I already felt more welcome here, than I did in my house with my wife. The living room had a three seater sofa and no armchair. It would be a tight squeeze if we wanted to watch TV at the same time, but wasn't mad about the thought of being pressed up against him. The TV was mounted on the wall across from the sofa. I loved everything about it.

When the tour was over Sam led me to the little round dining table that had four chairs surrounding it and told me to sit down. “Let me get the grilled sandwiches going and we can eat lunch.” His excitement was evident.

“You really enjoy feeding people?” I replied.

He grinned showing his perfectly white teeth, as he started on the sandwiches. “Yes, I always loved cooking. It was what Baka and I did every time I came to see her. It is also a big thing in my culture. Serbian people are foodies and we love feeding people. But when we see someone enjoy it as much as you, it makes all the effort worth it.”

“We might be a great match Sam. I love food but can't cook for shit.” What was that? Was that me flirting? God… Oh God...

His cheeks turned flame red. “It seems like it.”

“Sam, that was delicious, I could get used to this.” I said, rubbing my stomach.

He laughed. “You should get used to it, I have no job and I cook when I am bored. Plus you guys will be working downstairs, so I will provide all the meals. The fridge and freezer were kindly stocked up for me by everyone in Lantry. I would never be able to eat it all by myself anyways.”

“Not at the rate you are eating. You barely touched your soup and took three bites of your grilled sandwich. You make me look bad, we need to fix that.”

“Did Miss Jenny put you up to this?” he squinted his eyes at me.