Page 16 of Hard as Steel

Krystof rolled his eyes. “You know damn well I didn’t mean it that way.”

Steel realized he smiled like a fool. “You’re even more beautiful. I didn’t think that was possible. Honestly, seeing you again was maddening. I had prayed you’d be bald and look ninety.”

The bark of laughter Krystof released warmed his chest.

When Steel spoke again, even he heard the love that wouldn’t die in his voice. “There you are. Now you look like the man who stole my heart.”

At his claim, Krystof pulled his shirt up and over his head and tossed it aside. He took off his belt.

Steel pushed himself backward and settled in, enjoying the show. He wanted to inspect every inch of Krystof and see these changes for himself. To his disappointment, Krystof didn’t take off his pants before straddling him.

Steel tugged at them. “What’s this? Since when do we leave pants on?”

Krystof’s smile didn’t dim. “Since the day you didn’t shed a single article of clothing.”

Steel snagged Krystof’s waist and flipped him onto his back. He removed his clothes like a madman while Krystof laughed at his show. That was good. Steel needed Krystof’s laughter. Joy had to replace the hurt in his eyes, or Steel might suffocate. He had to lie to himself and say this was for Krystof. Otherwise, Steel would have to admit he missed the hell out of this.

Once nude, he practically ripped the pants off Krystof’s body. “Changed, my ass.” He dragged his gaze down Krystof’s body. If there was a single thing different about him, Steel couldn’t tell. He met Krystof’s now hungry gaze. “There’s not a damn thing out of place. Please don’t insult my eyesight again. I mean, I need glasses to read now, but that’s beside the point. I can see you just fine.”

“Mhmm. I bet that’s hot.”

Steel winked. “Damn right you are.”

Krystof’s smile was back. “I meant you in glasses.”

“I’m sure you’ll see it sometime. Right now, it feels a lot like you don’t plan to kiss my chest and make me better.”

Krystof immediately pushed Steel’s chest until he had him where he wanted him. As his lips landed on Steel’s skin, his gaze flipped upward and locked eyes with Steel. Oxygen disappeared. Too many memories to cling to one poured through him. It seemed he had forgotten one thing. Steel had forgotten what this felt like: the moment when Krystof transformed from a high-society gentleman to a shameless lover. He wanted to have patience. Steel had every intention of savoring every second. He couldn’t do it. Steel snagged Krystof and dragged him up his body. He took the kiss he ached to have. All the nights he had thought he would die without Krystof came rushing back.

“I never thought I’d touch you again,” Steel admitted as he changed angles. He pulled away again. “You were gone from me—like I’d been ripped in two.”

Krystof shook his head. “I never stopped loving you. You have no idea how I’ve punished myself over the years. You weren’t the only one torn in two. I know nothing I can ever say will change what I’ve done, but don’t think for a single second I stopped loving you even the tiniest bit. Every single day, I’ve woken up wondering if this loss would finally kill me.”

“Thank God it didn’t. This may be a different house, but you still know where to find the lube.”

Krystof crawled to the bedside table. He had even chosen the right side of the bed. Krystof knew him. He came out of the drawer with a tube. Krystof hesitated.

Steel opened his mouth to ask what was wrong. His teeth snapped together when Krystof grabbed a condom. Pain slashed through him all over again. It had taken him a long time to heal even the smallest bit to have sex with anyone else. The first time, he had gone home and sat with his gun. He had known sleeping with someone else meant they were truly over. That night, he had realized there was no hope left. He still didn’t know why he hadn’t pulled the trigger, but he had gone into inpatient mental health treatment the very next day. Steel hadn’t thought this moment would ever come. Now he felt the same as he had that night, as if—with one act—he was the one who destroyed them.

“I’ll get tested.”

The corners of Krystof’s mouth lifted in a sad smile, but he didn’t respond. For a moment, Steel wanted to rage and break shit. He wasn’t the one who left and stayed gone for years—raised a whole ass family without him. Steel shouldn’t feel guilty. He had done nothing wrong. Before his temper snapped, Krystof pressed his lips against Steel’s in the sweetest of kisses. He had no idea why the kiss felt like forgiveness and understanding. An acknowledgment of Steel’s feelings. Steel melted beneath his touch. His muscles relaxed. Krystof teased his lips until they parted. Their tongues brushed and played. Steel’s hands rose and cupped Krystof’s face. Nothing existed beyond them.

A gasp tore from him when Krystof’s wet fingers found his asshole. He wanted to grab his dick and do whatever it took to blow. Krystof played his body like a master musician. He shamelessly rode Krystof’s fingers before Krystof finally pulled away long enough to suit up. Tears clogged his throat when the empty plastic wrapper was tossed on the bed. Then Krystof was back. The head of his cock pressed against the rim of his asshole. He pushed, sliding his way inside Steel. They didn’t speak or cry out for more. Krystof held his stare as he pumped inside Steel. He had Steel’s body at the perfect angle. Krystof didn’t pound inside of him like he was there for only one thing. He rocked, making love to him while hitting the exact spot Steel needed.

Each breath got harder than the last, but Steel didn’t close his eyes. He couldn’t force himself to look away if he tried. Even though there had been very little foreplay, Steel felt treasured. He could see how much he meant to Krystof in his expression. Someone could tell a million lies, but the eyes always gave people away. Love poured from Krystof like an overflowing fountain.

“Don’t come. I want to make love to you forever.”

Steel’s breath stuttered at Krystof’s claim. Hearing him speak had the opposite effect Krystof had been looking for. Steel zipped toward the edge. He panted for air, trying to hang on. Krystof looked way too calm.

Steel couldn’t take it. He knocked Krystof onto his back and straddled him. Steel took the dick he wanted. He kissed Krystof as if the act was punishment. When he reached a point of no return, Steel threw his head back and grunted out a cry as cum shot onto Krystof’s chest with the force of Steel’s orgasm.

He barely caught his breath before Krystof whimpered beneath him. Something dark rose inside him. Krystof would not waste his cum in a fucking condom. That cum belonged to him. A loud cry of denial burst from Krystof when Steel moved away.

“Shh. I’ve got you.” Steel ripped off the condom and went down on him. He held the base of Krystof’s cock and bobbed on him like he would die without Krystof’s cum in his mouth. That was how he felt. He was a desperate man. When hot cum filled his mouth, Steel swallowed as if he had found a drink in the desert. He didn’t stop until he had every drop and the tremors stilled. Then the tears came, and Steel lost control.

His eyes felt as if Krystof had rubbed them with sandpaper. No amount of water seemed to hydrate him. His mind was a mess of satisfaction, pain, and worries. Krystof had ugly cried harder than he ever had, and he had never seen Steel cry the way he had. Steel was very much a man’s man. Men didn’t cry had been drilled into him since he was a toddler. He had grown up in a backwoods town where men worked emotionlessly and women played their roles with dignity. To see him cry the way he had destroyed any semblance of sanity Krystof claimed. He had done that. Krystof had torn Steel down to that. He had no idea how to live with that.