Page 15 of Golden Ruin

I ignore her plea, feeling how my heart races against my chest at twice the normal speed.

“This is her fault? Nearly losing Jax, losing my house, losing everything… was because of her?”

“Lexi.”

I’m shaking my head, not wanting to hear anything else, because now this puts everything that happened into perspective. Not only did my reckless, dumb-ass sister cause the fire, but she wouldn’t even try to make it right by helping me get to Jaxon.

The ounce of softness that crept in is gone now, completely dead.

“She knows she messed up and wants to apologize, Lex. She wants to explain, and–”

“You can’t expect me to do that,” I blurt out, feeling how the chill in my words matches what I feel in my soul right now. “Tell your daughter to stop calling me. I won’t answer. What she did was…”

Tears fill my eyes, and I’m so sick of crying.

Mom wipes my cheeks with both her hands, then brings me into her arms. Thank God she doesn’t keep pushing, forcing me to talk about this, because I’m not sure what I’d say if she did. But as far as I’m concerned, unless my sister finds a way to turn back the hands of time, we have nothing left to say to each other.

Ever.

My tears dry quickly, because I refuse to let Amelia be the reason I’m emotionally unstable today. She doesn’t get to occupy that much of my headspace. Not anymore. Not after this.

“I’m ready to go.”

I pull back, hardening my expression as I force my thoughts back toward getting the hell out of here, back toward seeing my son. Mom stares, seemingly shocked by how I shut off the waterworks, but the truth of the matter is that Amelia fucked up, and I’m done with this conversation. Done with her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head and stand, fuming as I add the pouch with the extra bandages and ointment to the side pocket of the duffle bag with my pain meds.

“Nope. I’m done with it.”

Mom stares, clearly not wanting to let it go at that, but she’s known me my whole life, knows I won’t budge.

“Okay.”

I’m relieved she’s letting this go, and when she stands to scan for anything I may have left behind, we’ve officially moved past it.

“Well, I think that’s everything. Benny just texted that he’s heading out now.”

I nod, taking a deep breath when I think again about where I’m heading. Not to a hotel or to Mom’s, but to Sterling’s.

“Jax had a rough night,” Mom says, and I nod because I expected as much. “He had a couple nightmares, woke up asking for you and Sterling.”

I don’t say anything, because the conversation suddenly feels loaded.

“I know you’re probably worried things will get awkward with you two staying together, but for what it’s worth, I think it’s the best decision.”

I flinch at her wording… staying together.

“In the long run, I think you’ll be happy you took him up on his offer.”

Her reasoning is spot on. I think this is what’s best for Jax. But I also know my mother was the fourth most devastated person affected when Sterling and I broke up. He and I were in a tie for first. Then Benny. Then Mom.

Mostly because she saw how it destroyed me.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” is all I have to say about it as a knock hits the door.

Mom and I look up as Sterling walks in. I lock eyes with him as this intense thread of energy reverberates between us, but I look away first, drawing a deep breath as I glance toward my mother instead. But that curious look on her face means she already clocked it.