Page 151 of Fierce-Colson

“If you want to know, then yes. And I did it because it allows me to shut it off now. Or try to. This night is for us. The morning the same. It matters. I want it to matter. If we have less of it, we make the best of it when we can. I’m good with that. Are you?”

“Of course.”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

“No problem.”

“I think you’re looking for one. Or you’re setting yourself up in case I say it’s too much. Right?”

He hated to think she was, but maybe he was still holding some back.

“I don’t know,” was the closest he could admit to it.

She reached her hand across the table. “Colson, promises are hard. Especially if they are broken. You’ve had more long-term relationships than me. You’ve experienced the hurt of them ending. I’m not promising forever even if maybe I want that.”

He lifted his eyes. “You do?”

“Yeah. I do. And for me to say that this early. To admit that is hard for me. I like to plan everything out.”

He snorted. “Don’t I know it.”

She smiled and winked at him. “And you don’t always and yet we are making this work. You bring out the spontaneous with me. I need that.”

“Glad I can do that for you,” he said sincerely when he really meant to joke.

But it didn’t come out that way because maybe he was happy he could give her something that other men couldn’t.

And that she wanted it from him.

For a man who hid self-doubt most of his life behind humor and grit, he found letting it seep out some wasn’t that hard to do.

Did he still fear getting his heart crushed?

Yeah, that might always be there. Or at least for a bit.

But it wasn’t as strong as it’d been.

“I’m glad you can too. What I can promise you is that I will never blindside you. That if things start to change for me, you’ll be the first one to know. And we’ll talk. We’ll see if maybe it’s just me getting in my head like you can get in yours.”

This time he smiled. “Probably smart.”

“That’s right. I am smart. Because you’re not the only one insecure right now. Not the only one doubting what we’ve got. Is it too good to be true? I ask myself that at least once a day,” she said.

“So I’m not alone.”

“Never. And see, that’s why we talk. You understand my job and the demands. I understand yours. I think that already gives us a leg up.”

He nodded. “It does.”

“Then let’s enjoy the rest of the night with no talk about work, past relationships, or teenage girl drama.”

“What is there left to talk about?” he asked in mock horror. “We could get bored.”

“Oh, trust me, we’ll never get bored. Even if I have to strip to get your attention.”

He put his spoon down, grabbed her by the waist and picked her up, then put her over his shoulder. “You’ve got my attention.”

“See,” she said, laughing. “Perfect for each other.”