Page 83 of For the Ghastly and Beautiful

Chapter24

Adelaide

DAY FIFTY

Istare at the pages of a forgotten history tome, the ink swirling together in a black and white tornado of symbols. It feels like an accurate interpretation of adjusting to my new life.

The destruction brought forth change, and all I can do is pick up and rebuild into a better me. This is Ada 2.0. And she’s loving how odd her life has become.

Mostly.

Rin and I won’t go anywhere alone until Cotear is found, but I’m okay with that. She’s stayed over at Marren’s for the last two days, and I’m expecting heavily detailed stories, even if I really don’t want them.

It’s seriously unfair that she expects me to listen to her relationship woes with a Mongrel she claims to not want for more than sex. Meanwhile, if I mention innocently sleeping between two of the guys I’m in a relationship with, she looks seconds away from throwing up. I think she’s being dramatic.

But Jesus, Neptune, and Osiris…

These Mongrel men of mine are bewildering yet consuming. My heart attempts to escape my chest at every touch, willingly plunging into unknown feelings without hesitation. Their affections annihilate my self-control, leaving me as nothing but putty in their scarred hands.

They dominate my thoughts so thoroughly that my mind is a tangled mess of emotions.

When did it change, though?

I still can’t answer that.

There’s a sensation of completion with them, as if I wasn’t a whole being until we met. That’s a massive realization which circles me back around to the waterspout.

Right before the storm hit, I regretted getting on the dinky aluminum boat. But had I left the island, I would have regretted that choice more.

This is where I’m supposed to be.

I don’t want to lose sight of my new self while in a relationship with the four of them, yet I’m confident that won’t be the case. The more I learn about them—both individually and as a group—the more I piece together what they mean to me. The me I am now, not when I got here.

We may be water elementals, but each of the guys represents one of the four, solidifying another theory I’ve been working on.

Talodus is earth, both gentle and rough. He is my stability.

Connak is water, thoughtful yet primal. He moves me.

Imryll is air, logical and carnal. He is my safety.

Ecaeris is fire, charming but insolent. He challenges me.

Eventually, I’ll ask Isolde the right question, and she’ll stop giving me half answers. I wish Spiran would pop back in so I can speak to her, too. Something I remember saying in my darkness induced dream has been bothering me. I said a similar phrase to Poko before I killed him.

Now, I’m wondering why I have so much power.

And why I just know things I haven’t learned.

Which is why I’m still sitting in the middle of my bed with this book in my lap. I don’t know what language it’s written in, but the longer I stare at the pages, the more I can read. Honestly, it’s freaking me out a little.

The second I hear approaching footsteps, I push the book aside and move toward the doorway… Because currently, I don’t have a bedroom door. Connak is building a new one, though I have no idea what that entails.

Ecaeris is in his room, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake as he furiously searches for something. I stay out of his way as I observe his behavior, unsure of how to react.

“Why are you so angry?” I gently ask, surprising him.

“There’s a fucking Shade in the village.”