Page 77 of For the Ghastly and Beautiful

Chapter22

Adelaide

DAY FORTY-SEVEN

The guys leave me alone to shower as they hover in Ecaeris’s room, whispering by the door. I allow myself a moment of weakness, letting the fine tremble in my hands show as I breathe in the steam.

But only this moment.

Because I swore I would never feel this way again.

Once the water stops, I’m done.

The ache in my head ebbs as the water flows over me, and the scratches disappear so quickly I wonder if I was imagining them. I wasn’t; this I’m sure of. The rapid healing is just perplexing in the strangest of ways.

A dragonfly appears on the edge of the stone basin. Her flat, two-dimensional wings languidly flap as Spiran checks on me. I have no doubts that she witnessed what transpired tonight. My actions were my own doing, but she exudes a sense of gratitude and support.

If she could, Spiran would have already stepped in, but as the deity of life and light, her actions can’t hold malicious intent. She can’t rid this world of evil; that’s the islanders’ job.

I know this as fact, though I’m not sure why.

“When are we going to search for Cotear?” I ask the guys as the shower turns off.

I don’t even bother drying off. The water absorbs into my skin, drop-by-drop, restoring strength to exhausted muscles.

“We’re more concerned with you,” Talodus replies, glancing at the last drops of water curiously before he meets my gaze. “We’ll start looking for him tomorrow.”

“I’m fine. You don’t need to coddle me. I won’t fall apart.”

And that’s the truth. I’ve had my moment of weakness and released the pent-up adrenaline. I know I should be traumatized or more shaken up, but that ship sailed long before I reached Spiran’s shore.

“Why are you so calm right now?” Connak flexes his hands as if the adrenaline is still riding him.

“Because this wasn’t the first time I’ve been in that situation,” I retort. “It just ended differently this time.”

“And the first time?” he prompts, biting on his lower lip before he says more.

“I don’t believe you really want those answers.”

Ecaeris frowns as he passes me a shirt. “Want them? No. But it would help us better understand you and your actions.”

“And your responses,” Talodus adds.

“I know you heard what I said to him,” I murmur, tugging the soft linen over my head. “You hear everything.”

“You’ve killed before.” Imryll shrugs that information away. “I’m thankful you’re able to defend yourself, but I wish you didn’t have to.”

Connak waves his hand, quiet shock lacing his one word question. “What?”

“How did you not hear her?” Ecaeris furrows his brow. “You have better hearing than all of us.”

“Not when the hunt is still so fresh.”

“Ada?” Talodus calls, drawing my attention to him as I roll up the sleeves of my shirt.

“I don’t like living in the past, so I’ll tell you once. Then I won’t talk about it again. Sit down and listen, but… Don’t touch me until I’m done. Okay?”

They nod, spreading around the sitting area in Ecaeris’s room. I sit at the end of his bed, my legs crossed as I stare at my hands, searching for the repressed memories of my trauma.