Page 13 of Rowe

“I don’t know how,” he said shaking his head, tears filling those golden eyes. “I don’t know what to do for her and that makes me feel like a colossal failure.”

“You’re not a failure, Rowe,” said Kai, seated with Bronson and Jethro. “It was Pelican. Not her. Not you. Pelican. They will pay for what happened.”

“Maybe you need to speak with Shep or Ashley?” said Gator.

“They visited me the other day. Pulled me out of her room and forced me to talk to them. I know what I’m feeling is normal and what she’s feeling is normal. I’m just struggling with how to make it go away,” he said pushing the pasta with his fork. He didn’t eat it. He just relocated it on the plate.

“It won’t go away, Rowe. You’re feeling her sadness, her misery. That makes you a decent man,” said Ham. “Believe me, I’ve been there. When Sadie was practically losing her mind, blaming herself for the loss of her babies, she was ready to do something crazy. I wanted so desperately to just hold her and make it go away.”

“Did it work? Holding her. Did it work?” asked Rowe with a hopeful expression.

“No, brother. It helped. It helped to let her know she wasn’t alone. But there are still moments when the flash of sadness covers her face. I know she’s thinking of the ‘what if’ and I have to let her think it, feel it. Then I let her know I’m here. Always here.”

“But you can’t be there for Mara if you’re sick, hungry, and running on no sleep,” said Cowboy. “You have to keep up your mental and physical health. Then you can help her.”

Rowe nodded, finally taking a bite of the pasta on his plate. He chewed, swallowed, and took another. He looked up at the men and spoke again.

“Where are we on Lakeside? Do we know who they are yet?” he asked.

“We’re working on it,” said Rush. “You’ll be notified when we figure it out, Rowe. We won’t exclude you from this.”

“Thanks,” he nodded again. “Kennedy said the tox study came back on all the women, including Mara. They were all given some kind of mega-dose of antihistamines.”

“Antihistamines? Like for allergies?” frowned Cowboy.

“Kind of. Kennedy said that Suzette thought it was being given in the massive dosage to bring on short- and long-term memory loss, possibly even dementia. Antihistamines overused can often cause problems like that, apparently. Suzette said that it would give the defense an opportunity to say the women didn’t remember anything, that’s if they all survived.”

“But none except Mara did,” frowned Ham. “We need to make sure she’s well-guarded.”

“Cousins are still guarding the door,” said Rowe. “I don’t know them well, but I know them well enough to not fuck with them. I feel okay leaving her in their hands.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” smirked Rush. “Let’s see if we can get her to a cottage, though. At least then she’ll have hundreds watching over her.”

Rowe finished the last bite of food and stood with his tray. He started to walk away, then turned back to the men.

“Thanks for the talk. I’m going to see if they’ll release Mara into my care. She can stay in my guest room. I’ll watch over her.”

“We figured you’d say that,” said Patrick. “I’m sure Kennedy and the others will agree.”

By the time Rowe got back to the clinic, Mara was sitting up in bed practically being force-fed by Willa.

“Honey, you have to eat something or you will never leave this bed,” she coaxed.

“I don’t want to eat,” she said turning her head. Rowe moved toward the tray of food and sat on the bed beside Mara. She looked up at the huge man, her tiny body dwarfed by his size. He held up the bowl of broth and filled a spoon, gently blowing on it as he brought it to her lips.

“One spoonful at a time,” he said softly. She pursed her lips tightly, but the man didn’t move. Finally, she opened, taking in the warm chicken broth. “See. Not so hard.”

It continued for thirty minutes until the broth, pudding, and crackers were gone. Then she drank the entire glass of juice.

“That’s good for today,” he nodded. “If you want out of here, we have to get you eating on your own. Your niece wouldn’t have wanted you to do this.”

“He’s right,” said Julia standing in the door with Noah. They were holding hands, but Rowe knew they weren’t married. In fact, their spouses were standing behind them.

Julia read the expressions in the room and smiled. She held up their joined hands.

“This helps us both to do what we need to do. It’s going to sound strange, Mara, but Noah and I can feel, hear, and see spirits. Others on this property can as well.” Mara stared at them, her expression not changing at all.

“You’re not surprised,” said Noah.