Page 260 of ClickBack

Rae speaks first during the toasts. She has notes on her phone and forgets to look at them after the first sentence.

“My mother is the person I call when I don’t know what to do,” she says. “Sometimes I already know what she’s going to say, and I call anyway.”

Trina raises her glass in agreement. Rae laughs, then looks at me.

“I like that we’ve gotten to know each other again this year. Even when it wasn’t easy. And I like seeing you happy without checking first to see if everybody else is.”

I reach for Jarrett’s hand beneath the table.

Rae turns toward him. “You’re family now. Zion has already made plans, so I hope somebody told you what you signed.”

“I’ve seen the requests,” Jarrett says.

“Those were the first ones.”

Rae keeps the microphone. “One thing, though. You know I can’t call you my stepdaddy, right?”

“Please don’t,” Jarrett says.

“Good. As long as we’re clear.”

I laugh into my napkin. Beside me, Jarrett raises his glass to my daughter.

Javon gets up next. He adjusts the microphone, looks at his brother, and begins with a story Jarrett clearly wishes he had not remembered.

“When I was little, Jay used to tell me I couldn’t come with him. Then I’d get to the door and he’d be waiting.”

“Because you wouldn’t go back inside,” Jarrett says.

“Still waited, though.” Javon smiles at him, then looks down at the table. “That’s my brother. Talks all that shit, then makes sure you got what you need.”

Denise closes her eyes briefly. Beside me, Jarrett stops playing with the stem of his glass.

Javon looks at me. “I’m glad it’s you, Giselle.”

“Thank you, Von.”

“Take care of my brother.”

“I will.”

Jarrett reaches for him when he passes, and they hold on hard enough that I look away to give them a little privacy in a room full of people.

Zion’s toast is short. He thanks Jarrett for inviting him to games, tells him he likes having him in the family, and reminds him that he has not yet won a video game against him.

“Don’t start,” Jarrett tells him.

“He’s telling his truth,” Rae says.

The second envelope arrives after the applause. Nina puts it in Jarrett’s hand while asking whether we need anything from the bar. He begins to answer, opens it, then lowers it below the table so quickly that I nearly spill my champagne.

“I’ll give you a minute,” she says.

I have to put my napkin against my mouth.

Di brings the third between the toasts and cake. I remember what I was wearing by that point, and what I had stopped bothering to cover. On the border I have written, Thirty-one buttons. Take your time.

Jarrett closes his eyes, laughing quietly, then gets up and comes behind my chair. His hand rests over the buttons.