Page 76 of The Omega Switch: Part 2

I could choose what I wanted - and I wanted them.

"Can we sit down?" I asked suddenly. All three men immediately looked concerned.

Ronan rushed over. "What's wrong?" he asked, his dark eyes searching my face from the sudden change in my temperament.

"Nothing, I just have something to talk about,” I said. The three of them glanced at each other as I walked toward the living room and settled onto the large couch. I pointed toward the seats around me.

"Sit." I ordered. Ronan sat immediately, sinking into the other side of the couch, his body making a dent so large I almost tilted sideways.

Hunter and Elias took the two large leather chairs opposite us. I looked around at the three men and suddenly became so nervous that I nearly lost my courage. I was going to ask them for something important - and to me, it was huge.

I reached for Ronan's hand first, gently reaching out as his fingers met and closed carefully around mine. I needed his support for this. Hunter and Elias watched me closely.

"I've been thinking about us," I began. “Everything that's happened. And how everything changed.” I said, trying to word this right. "I spent so much of my life thinking that finding a pack would fix everything. Then when everything happened, and I had to rely on myself, I realized something that I never knew was possible.” I said, looking at each of them. "I can live without you."

Ronan flinched, his hand trembling as he held mine. I gave it a gentle squeeze. "That's not all." His eyes returned to mine.

"I can survive without you," I repeated. "And without my family. I know that now. I can support myself, and run a business." I looked around the room. "But I know that it’s easier when you have people who care about you. And maybe I realized I don't want to do everything alone anymore." Hunter's eyes closed briefly.

"Ivy..."

"I'm not finished." His mouth snapped shut. "My body is healing," I admitted. Elias looked at me, moving slightly closer. "I've been off the suppressants long enough that my cycle is starting to normalize."

Elias let out a sigh of relief. "That's good." He said, his expression relieved.

"It is,” I started, then took a deep breath. "And according to the symptoms I've been tracking, I'm probably going to have a heat soon." I managed to say. My hand tightened around Ronan’s. He went still, and Hunter’s hand flexed on the arm of the chair. Elias's expression remained still, but I saw the emotion behind his eyes.

It was shame. They knew what my last heat had been like - they knew I'd gone through it alone, in pain, and abandoned. They also knew that it had been an exceptionally difficult heat, due to my family’s neglect and insistence that I suppress my heat cycle for so long.

Ronan looked away, then squeezed his eyes shut. I swore I could see the beginning of a tear in his eyes. Hunter stared down at the floor, his body slumping. As much as I knew they deserved to feel that guilt, it didn’t feel good to see them still suffering over it. Though I’d given up on them at the time, today was different. Everything that had happened between us changed, and I didn't want the past sitting between us forever, hindering our growth.

"My last heat was horrible," I said quietly.

Elias's jaw clenched. "I know. We could smell it." He said softly, but I shook my head.

"No. You know what happened, but you don't know what it felt like." His eyes met mine. "I was scared, and in pain. The worst pain imaginable, every second of every day.” I felt Ronan’s body flinch. “My body was seeking out people who I knew should help me, but you weren’t there,” I explained. “That last heat changed me. It made me realize I had to rely on myself, and I did.”

Hunter's eyes shone, and it took him a long minute to speak. "I'm so sorry." He said, and I could see that he meant it.

"I know. You’ve shown me that over and over.” I said. I looked at him and realized how much had changed. Not too long ago, I would have shrugged off another apology from him. Words didn’t mean much. But actions did. And their actions had been what healed us, little by little, as they allowed me to decide what I wanted.

I took a deep breath to make my ask. "I - I don't want to spend the next one alone." My heart hammered, and I took another breath. “So, if it happens, and if I need you…”

Ronan's eyes widened. "...will you be there to help me?" Ronan answered so quickly it almost overlapped the question.

"Yes."

Elias leaned forward, his body tight with tension. "Whatever you need, Ivy." Hunter's voice was rougher.

"Anything."

I smiled, my anxiety unwinding now that I’d asked the hard question.

“Can I ask, what does helping mean to you?" Elias asked carefully. His eyes looked almost silver in this light, and I struggled to put into words what I wanted. Because my body definitely wanted their help in ways that were too dirty for me to describe - but my mind, and my heart, weren’t quite sure yet.

"I don't know yet. I mean, maybe just a safe space to have it. Maybe just protection from the outside." I said, though I knew that wasn’t entirely true. My next heat would be difficult - the doctors had strongly recommended surrogate alphas to help me with it after what I’d been through. But the truth was, I’d never had anyone help me through a heat before. I was actually really nervous about it all.

"Then we'll figure it out when you're ready," Elias said confidently. Ronan nodded in agreement.