Page 42 of Changing Lanes

“She has to come, Dad! She has to!” I yell through the warm liquid. I’m a caged animal and he’s the bars keeping me from what I really want.

We’re both heaving, both fighting to breathe like we actually can.

“Listen to me. She’s not coming back. You have to move on. You need to.” My dad shakes me, his hair finally falling forward, and a whimper escapes…one of us. I can’t tell who.

The pounding is making it hard to concentrate but I try anyway.

“Beck, I’m trying my best. I really am. I can’t take losing you, too, so please just stop. We’ll get you cleaned up, then we need to leave. They’re not going to call her. She doesn’t want us to. Do you get that?”

“You. You mean she doesn’t want you. She’ll come back for me.” She has to. I need her. He doesn’t.

“If that were true, she would’ve taken you with her.”

I rear back as if he slapped me. He might as well have. It would’ve hurt less. The look in his eyes haunts me. It’s the same one I see when I look in the mirror and I drop my gaze to the cast still in his hold, wishing he’d let go like he let go of her.

“She will. She’ll come for me,” I whisper over a hiccup. Maybe not this time. Maybe not this injury. There will be a time though where I’m hurt so bad that she’ll have no choice but to come back and when she does I’ll be waiting. Always waiting.

There’s yelling and I furrow my brows, confused.

“Beckett! Open the door!”

Paige? Why is she here? How?

In a quieter voice I hear, “here goes nothing,” then my door is kicked in. My bedroom door. The one in my apartment, not the hospital room from so many years ago.

I sit straight up in bed, realizing too late that I’m drenched.

“What the fuck?” I yell at her. She wasn’t supposed to see this. She’s not supposed to be here period.

Thank all my unlucky stars her door was locked last night. What a mistake that would’ve been. This is already too fucking close, just like I told Marc.

Paige’s eyes are frantic as she sweeps the room. Landing back on me, they soften but only marginally. It’s enough though. Goddamn it, it’s enough.

I grit, “get out,” but am thoroughly ignored as she comes further into the room. Like, what?

My clammy body, ready for flight, is covered only by a sheet until it’s yanked out of my grasp by my nosey ass roommate.

How long will an eviction notice take to type up ‘cause I’m done.

I drop my feet to the floor, ready to end Paige’s interrogation before it can even start but she catches me off guard, saying, “You’re bleeding. What the hell happened?”

I pause, noticing the red pool on the sheet in Paige’s hands and scowl. Feeling my upper lip, my fingers come away covered in blood.

Shit. This hasn’t happened in a long time.

“What happened? I heard-”

“Fuck if I know,” I cut her off, afraid to hear her finish that sentence. “I was sleeping. You’re the one that busted in here without permission. Now get the fuck out of my room. And you’re paying to fix my door, too.”

I’m blessed with an eye roll and Paige coming even closer, not leaving like I told her to. This girl.

Parting my knees with hers, she plugs my nose just above my nostrils. She thinks it’s a simple nose bleed. She has no idea and I intend on keeping it that way.

“What are you doing?” My voice comes out nasally and not at all intimidating like I hoped. “I told you to leave.”

Her face lowers until we’re at eye level with each other and my heart slows. What is she going to say? What does she see?

“Since when do I listen to you?” she asks softly. It’s meant to be rude but there’s a pleasantness to her tone, like her melodic voice is meant to distract me from being led to slaughter.