Page 31 of Detour

I bark out a disbelieving laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I pay rent where I live, which is at my apartment, away from you.”

“I raised you, you ungrateful bitch!”

“Yeah, thanks for that, but I don’t owe you anything. I let you keep the child support check even though you technically aren’t supporting me anymore. That’s more than enough.”

“All you’ve ever done is take, take, take. Take my money, take all the food, take up space in every place I’ve ever scored us, you name it. Now that you’re out from under my roof you think you’re off the hook repaying me? I’ve been paying your way for years! It’s time you return the favor.”

Favor? Is she serious? I can’t believe the crap she’s spewing. I was wondering what kind of bullshit she’d pull next but I had no idea she was busy spinning out of control trying to come up with what she could hold over my head. What she could use against me. And the best she could think of was my childhood? It shouldn’t shock me that she’s kept tabs over the years but I never thought she’d throw it in my face as an actual debt. She’s reaching, even for her. She probably knows it, too, but it’s the only leg she’s got to stand on so she’s going with it.

I’m not though.

“You’re un-fucking-believable, you know that?”

“Watch your mouth! You’re still my daughter.”

Don’t remind me.

“That’s right,” I sigh. “I am your daughter. A child you didn’t have to have, I know. You should’ve aborted me like you’ve told me a thousand times. For whatever reason you didn’t though and here I am. Tell me how much the abortion would’ve been and I’ll pay you that amount. Will that make things right between us?” Since not going through with it is the biggest regret of her life apparently, maybe the price tag for my birth will help her come to terms with her choice once and for all. “After that, I won’t owe you anything, anymore.”

I hate the tears that form so I blink them away, not ready to give in yet.

“Well, it’ll help but it won’t be enough. I’ve been carrying you for eighteen years. That’s a hell of a lot more than you’re offering. I gave you life after all.”

A sob rips through me before I can stop it. “Then come and take it back!”

Hanging up, I toss my phone in the cupholder, then slam my hand down on the steering wheel. I let her get to me. I let her win.

Fuck.

She got me to lose control when I’ve worked tirelessly not to. It’s a lonely place living without power and my mother thrives from having company. She welcomes the once composed into pure hysteria with open arms. She’s been pushing my entire life to get me into her manic world. I’ve always been able to stay calm and wait out the worst of it, knowing there were no alternatives. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, unlike my sister. I’d be just as unwanted with my father as I was with Rianne, and at least I already knew that evil. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t, right?

I make my way into my apartment on auto pilot without any recollection of even getting here. Trying to rein in my emotions is like separating each one into a different jar. It must be done carefully, taking complete concentration.

With a deep inhale, I glance around the small space. I finally have something that puts me out of her reach, making this studio the most sacred thing in my life.

The crap at Hot Spots and now the drama next door has been chipping away at my façade for weeks without me even realizing it. She caught me in a moment of weakness and I won’t let it happen again. I can’t.

I’ll rebuild what’s been damaged and make myself stronger. I can be strong. I will be strong. I am strong.

* * *

Groggy after being woken from a nap, I drag myself out of bed to answer my door. I’m not even surprised when I find Coty on the other side. I figured he’d come looking for an explanation for yesterday’s disappearing act. I didn’t expect him to show up bearing gifts though. He holds up plates full of the best food known to man—taco truck beef tacos. It’s too good of an offering to send him away and judging by his smug grin he knows it.

“Are you hungry?” Well, now I am. “I thought I’d bring dinner to you since you won’t let me take you out.”

I give him a once-over and, of course, he looks good. A white tank that shows his sexy tattoos with relaxed athletic shorts. He has sneakers on though foregoing his preferred barefoot look.

I open the door wider as an answer.

“You just wake up or something?” He points at my hair when I scowl, explaining, “Bed head.”

Indignantly, I continue past him to check myself in the bathroom. Seeing he’s right, I unwrap my tight bun, letting my hair fall loosely around me. It’s one of the rare occasions it’s actually holding a curl and I ignore the frizzy pieces tickling my face to rejoin him.

“If you think this is bad, you should see my sex hair.”

He just stares at me as I accept one of the plates. I thought it was a good joke. Not my best, but I’m working at half speed still. I’ll try again when I’m fully awake.

He clears his throat to suggest eating outside to which I agree instantly since the only other place to sit is my bed and that’s just not happening.