Page 58 of A Duchess Untouched

Chapter 28

“Keep the damp cloth pressed to her temples, Mr. Quinten,” Dr. Howard advised in his calm and quiet voice. “I have to prepare her tonic.”

Through her still-blurry vision, Selina watched the physician add a few drops of dark liquid to a glass of water.

What in the world happened to me?

She lay atop three pillows, her face feeling stretched and drained. Her breathing was labored, though she could not figure out why. She did not seem to be hurt anywhere, only weak. Somehow, the physician’s gentle touch and the silence in the room soothed her a little.

A boy of about five.

Then those words came back, resurfacing like her worst nightmare. Her heart was breaking all over again.

Selina was old and smart enough to know that men had mistresses. When they married, some kept their mistresses even after the wedding, while others left them to focus on their new families. Matthew was worse than the first kind. His mistress had left with their son, and he was the one who kept searching for them. And the worst thing was that she could not even blame him for wanting to care for his illegitimate son. But it was unfair. It was so unfair that he had to marry Selina and entangle her in this whole mess.

Did he even have feelings for her? The passion of the past month was probably nothing but a lie, a means to assuage his guilt or to imagine another woman in his arms. She nearly visibly shuddered at the thought.

All that effort, and what good did it do me?

Their lovemaking had been sweet and desperate. It had made her believe she was special to him. Then again, she had been naive and did not even know what lovemaking was like until he taught her. Showed her. Over and over again. His sweet words had made her more confident, but now the illusion had shattered. It would have been better if he had never pretended to want her. Then she would not feel her heart shatter in her chest or tears well in her eyes.

She blinked away her tears and turned to find her father sitting beside her. The lines in his face seemed deeper as he patted her head. It reminded her of her childhood, when her father would sometimes try to be paternal, which was not often.

“Do not worry yourself so, dear girl,” her father murmured. “Everything is going to be all right. Your papa is here with you.”

“Are you trying to scare the poor girl to death before her time, Harleigh?” Lady Marlow said from the door.

Selina tried to smile, but even the muscles in her face felt weak. It was becoming increasingly harder to hold back her tears, but she realized that there were more people in the room to see her. Her gaze shifted to Antoinette, who held a small vial. The duchess’s aristocratic face had softened, revealing genuine concern.

“I have had a fresh vial of smelling salts prepared for you, Selina. You must carry it whenever you go out. Put it in your reticule,” her mother-in-law advised. “I also feel you have been exerting yourself too much with your charities. They are good causes, but you must take care of yourself.”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Selina whispered, her throat feeling raw.

“What she must do is heed the physician’s orders and take the tonics he has made for her,” Lady Marlow added as she stepped closer to Selina’s bed.

Selina was deeply touched by everyone’s concern. If only her heart were not in tatters, she would probably appreciate it better.

How am I going to face Matthew if he comes to see me? What will I tell him?

“Grandmama, has Matthew—”

A sudden flurry of footsteps heralded the arrival of none other than her sisters. Before they even entered the room, Selina could hear their worried voices, some more dramatic than others.

The doors burst open, and in came Madeline, Cathy, and Portia.

Dr. Howard gave Selina her tonic, gave them a polite bow, and stepped outside to make space for the family.

“Oh, Selina!” Cathy cried, rushing to Selina, careful not to jostle her. “We heard you collapsed on the street near the parish! Did you leave the house without having any breakfast again? How many times have I told you—”

“Stop it, Cathy! It is not helpful to badger her with advice right now. Dear Selina, how are you feeling? Are you in pain?” Madeline asked softly, taking Selina’s cold hands in hers. Maddy’s tone made her feel like a little girl again. Her father had been the same way with her earlier. It was the boon and burden of being the youngest.

“I am not sure what happened. All I remember is that I fell before reaching the carriage, and when I woke up, Papa was—”

“What did you do this time, Harleigh? Did you stress our girl’s poor nerves? Why did she faint?” Lady Marlow accused, suddenly realizing that her son-in-law was still in the room. “Oh, I told her never to take you in, but she would not listen…”

“I will have you know that I have nothing to do with this, Margaret. I am here to see my daughter. I ran as soon as I found out she had fainted to be by her side. I am not sure what you are implying,” Harleigh replied, looking confused.

“I do not believe that for a moment. How about all the other times your daughters needed you? Where were you, then?” the older woman demanded.