Page 25 of A Duchess Untouched

Matthew gaped at Selina, truly astonished. Again, this was not the wife he married four years ago. She had seemed so delicate then. So feminine. She was exactly the kind of wife his mother had wanted for him.

“You are…” Matthew murmured, “full of surprises, Selina. Here I was, thinking that I should be gentle with you, when you knew what you were doing all along.”

She smiled at him, and he realized he was still holding her hands. He could not help but revel in their warmth and softness. The sight of her parted lips and the vulnerability in her eyes made him wish he could toss everything, including the pistol, and kiss her until they were both breathless.

He leaned down, his face drawing closer until it was only inches from hers. Their gazes locked, and to his relief, Selina did not flinch or try to push him away. Instead, she tilted her head to meet his gaze, a soft gasp escaping those delicious lips. Matthew was desperate to kiss her then.

Why did I ever leave such a woman behind?

For Robert. He had done it for Robert. The name was like a cold bucket of water, washing over the desire that was heating him. Guilt followed, harsh and strong. It was what had kept him away for years in the first place. He had taken an oath to his dead brother. He had made a promise and had not yet fulfilled it.

Mary and her child were still waiting to be discovered and saved.

No, he did not yet have the right to let himself feel this way. There was no time for his own happiness. Lusting after his own wife should not even be something he should indulge in.

So, there was only one thing he could do. He exhaled loudly, and then he pulled back and said, “It is getting cold. You should go inside.”

Matthew did not like how hard and cold his voice was, but it was meant to be that way. It had to be.

He had no right to leave his self-imposed exile. Not until he atoned.

Selina froze for a moment, as if she could not make sense of what was happening. Then it all seemed to sink in, and hurt flashed across her face.

“As you wish, Your Grace.” She straightened herself and left him standing in front of the shattered target with Maximus by his side.

Chapter 12

“Why must it be so difficult?” Selina wondered aloud.

She still could not get over what had happened the day before. She had the perfect opportunity to play the damsel in distress. She had pushed aside her shame about what she had done at dinner to look for her husband, and Dawson had told her he was practicing with his pistol. It had been perfect. All she had needed to do was be in the right place at the right time.

Not only had she pretended to nearly faint from terror, but Selina had also found the perfect excuse to ask Matthew to teach her something so that they would come closer. Who would have thought she could fire a pistol? Everyone thought she was too sweet and fragile. But she was Lord Marlow’s granddaughter, and he had fought well as a soldier in his youth. In her own way, Selina had felt like a soldier about to win the war.

And she would have. Matthew had looked like he was finally giving in. He had looked like he was about to kiss her. She had felt him against her body. He had wanted her. His lips had been so close. And then… Then, her father had ruined everything once again.

However, the week was running out fast, and now that she knew she had an effect on him, Selina would not give up.

That evening, she wore one of her more revealing gowns again. It was a purple silk-and-lace gown with a low bodice that would make her grandmother weep with pride. If her husband were to leave soon, he would at least have an agonizing memory of her, one that would hopefully send him scrambling to return.

She set out to find Matthew and did her best to search for him, hunting through every room in Wentley House. She even explored the most hidden parts of the gardens, but her husband was nowhere to be found. Instead of Matthew, she found Oliver.

“Good evening, Oliver. Though it does not look like your day is going well. Is it?” she asked, concerned.

“No, I am afraid it is not,” he mumbled, looking visibly upset.

“Does it have anything to do with Matthew? Have you seen him?” she asked.

“No, it does not have to do with him. My brother has shut himself up in his study for the entire day and night so far,” Oliver replied. “I think it has something to do with his accounts being a mess. He wants to see them settled before he leaves, and he asked not to be disturbed by anyone and for any reason.”

That would explain why the door to his study had been locked. Why would he be there on a beautiful night like this? Of course. He was rushing his departure. He needed to ensure everything was in order before he left. He was responsible for the matters of the duchy, just not dutiful to his wife.

“Oh, I see,” she mused, trying not to reveal her emotions. “By the way, I would like to apologize for what happened during dinner. As you may have guessed… that… that foot was not meant for you. I… It is hard to explain.”

“Ah, I think I can guess what you were trying to do. I know you mistook me for Matthew. No offense taken. You simply startled me; that was all,” Oliver replied with a grin.

Selina felt relieved that her brother-in-law seemed to be taking things with good grace. She still blushed whenever she remembered the blunder.

“But what about you, Oliver? Why are you having a bad time if it is not about Matthew? Is it your cough? May I assist you with something?”