Page 91 of The Fake Out

“He was already gone.”

“Oh, honey.”

“Let me wallow today, okay? I’m sorry, I’ve been a shitty friend.”

She gave me a knowing smile. “Yeah, but I still love ya. Go upstairs and shower. I’m getting supplies. Then we’re gonna sit on your uncomfortable futon and binge-watch terrible TV.”

I hugged her. “You’re such a good friend. I don’t deserve you.”

“Accurate, but I still love you.”

I did what she asked, spending too long in the shower, mostly because I cried again in there. How could I have been so foolish? How could I have let my lust be confused for genuine feelings? I really liked Blaise, but we both knew the score. It wasn’t real. None of it was real, and now it was over. I should be happy, but it felt like someone had cut my heart out of my chest and stomped on it in front of me. I hadn’t felt this distraught since I woke up one day last year and my fiancé had disappeared.

I lay on my bed, with my hair still wet, staring at my phone. Blaise made me take a selfie of us last night with my phone, and we looked so good together. Like we were a real couple, but it had all been one big lie. I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to tell everyone. I had to ask him so we could get our stories straight.

I shot him a text that I hoped he’d ignore.

ME: What am I supposed to tell people?

BLAISE: My schedule was too much.

ME: K.

I watched the dots typing and typing, and then they stopped. It happened a couple more times and then stopped for good.

He was done with me. He’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious, but my heart didn’t listen. Why did I let Blaise into my heart? I didn’t want to feel this way, this utter heartbreak and desperation. This was exactly why I didn’t get too involved. It was why I didn’t let men stay over, or cuddle me, or even call me by a pet name. I let Blaise do all of those things. I let him worm his way into my heart, and here I was in the exact situation I didn’t want to be in. Heartbroken yet again.

I heard knocking on my front door, and I went down the steps to let Liv in.

“I come with junk food and good coffee,” she cheered, holding up the Wawa bag.

“I love you,” I told her.

“Hey, your landlord finally put that railing in,” she noted as we walked up the steps.

I cringed, remembering how I shoved the boundary in Blaise’s face. “Actually, Blaise did it. It’s why we got into that fight.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. That’s a total boyfriend move.”

“Yeah, but I had to remind him he wasn’t.”

She gave me another hug and then shooed me into my tiny living room. I slumped onto my truly uncomfortable futon, a hand-me-down from Alex, and turned on my game console to open my streaming service.

Liv came back with a bowl of chips, a stuffed pretzel, and some chocolate. I clicked on the reality show she liked that I pretended to hate, and we melted our brains with it.

“Who’s at the front desk today?” I asked.

“Oh, Alex and Eddie closed for the weekend since both you and Seth would be preoccupied.”

“What? We’re going to lose so much money not being open this weekend.”

“We’re okay,” she reassured me. But I did the books; we were still a struggling new business trying to get our heads above water. Why would Alex and Eddie make that decision?

“No, we’re not,” I argued.

She kicked my foot. “Let’s not talk about work, okay? Kelly starts on Monday, so hopefully that helps.”

“I think we’re going to keep Seth for a bit. Alex and I talked about it.”