Page 77 of Keeping Knight

“But I haven’t, really. Not in a very long time.” At her surprised look, I continue, “In my twenties I did. Not often, because I was so busy with work. But there were women.”

“That’s alright.” She strokes my hand with her thumb. A line forms between her brows. “Did something happen?”

“Nothing bad like you might imagine. It was just… as soon as they realized who I was, things changed. It was all about what I could give them. Expensive trips. Jewelry. Cars⁠—”

“Cars?” Ruby’s voice pitches up. “Women asked you to buy them cars?”

“Sometimes, yes. Or apartments. Or houses. They would hint about their credit card debt. Or their student loans. If it had to do with money, I heard it.” Meeting her gaze, I add, “It’s not that I didn’t want to spend money on them. But it got to the point where I felt like I was only a piggy bank. Who I was wasn’t important. It was just how much money my family had.”

Her expression turns sympathetic. “That sucks, Micah. I’m sorry.”

“When I moved here to work for Fox & Falcon, it got worse,” I explain. “Women would seek me out, but it was always with an ulterior motive.”

“Well, you are pretty handsome, too,” Ruby says lightly. “So I’d imagine that helped.”

I shake my head. “There was always something. A business venture or a trip to Tiffany’s or a week-long stay at a mansion in the Hamptons. And when I’d say no, that’s when things got ugly. I’d get accused of being stingy. Selfish. Self-absorbed. But it wasn’t that. I just wanted someone to care about me, and not what I could give them.”

“So you stopped dating?”

“Yeah. I guess the last straw was about four years ago. She seemed nice at first. Genuine. But a couple months in, things changed. It was all about money again. And when I resisted, she got mad. She threatened to make up stories about me and release them to the press if I didn’t do what she wanted.”

“Micah.” Ruby drapes her arm around my neck and kisses my jaw. “That’s awful. I’m sorry.”

“I got my attorney involved. Once he started throwing around things like libel and slander, she backed down. I haven’t heard from her since. But after that, I was done. I decided that staying single was better.”

“That’s how I felt about Liam,” she says. “Thankfully, he didn’t try to slander me. Although, who knows, he could have tried something much worse.”

“Rue.”

“I’m trying to have a sense of humor about it. Sort of. But anyway. That sucks, Micah. And I get it. Why you wanted to stay single. And I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s not a big deal,” I reply quickly. “Not compared to the things other people go through. I’m not trying to make it into more than it is. I just wanted you to know why I haven’t dated in so long. It’s not because I’m afraid of commitment. Or that I was a player. I guess I was just…”

“Protecting yourself,” Ruby finishes. “That’s normal after you’ve been hurt.” Her gaze holds mine. “I hope you’re telling me this because you don’t think I’m the same way?”

“Of course not.” I hug her close. “Absolutely not. I’m telling you because I care about you. Because I want you to know that I’m serious about you. That when I commit, it means something.”

“And are you? Committing?”

My heart thumps hard. That’s the crux of it, isn’t it? Am I ready to commit?

But I already know the answer. I’ve known for a while. I just haven’t told Ruby yet.

“I want to,” I tell her. “I want to take you to meet my parents. I want to introduce you to my old Army buddies. I know some guys up in Sleepy Hollow, just north of here, who I think you’d like. And there’s a guy out in Vermont who was Delta. Ronan. I’d love to bring you out there to meet him, too.”

“I would like that,” she says with a soft smile.

“And I want to take you on trips. We could visit all kinds of museums, and famous libraries, and find a restaurant with the very best beef Wellington. I want you to be at all of our poker nights, like Sofia is with Rogue. I want to know I’m going to see you after work and on the weekends, because that’s just what we do.”

Ruby kisses me. “Everything you said. I want that, too.”

“And there’s something else.” Now that I’ve started, I don’t want to stop. “I’m falling in love with you, Rue. At least, I think I am. I’ve never been in love before, so I’m not sure how it feels. But I know I feel more right with you than anyone else. I know I think about you all the time. I know my heart feels bigger when I’m with you. Maybe it’s too soon to say this. Especially with everything else going on. But⁠—”

I’m silenced by her mouth crashing down on mine.

Turning, Ruby straddles me. Her legs come around my waist. As she kisses me, her curls brush my face.

I tunnel my hand through her hair, tilting her head back and kissing her more deeply. My dick, which should be tired after last night but isn’t, jumps to attention.