Page 40 of Keeping Knight

“Ruby.” Sympathy darkens Micah’s gaze. Then he lifts me onto his lap and kisses me tenderly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“You didn’t.”

He traces the line of my lips with his finger. “Then why do you look sad?”

“Because I still miss him. A lot. You know my mom passed away when I was twelve. So it was just me and my dad for a long time. Even when he remarried, he still made time for me. He’d come to the city once a month, and he’d help me with projects at my apartment. Or we’d play at being tourists, go up to the top of the Empire State Building, or take the ferry to Ellis Island.”

Micah strokes my hair. “He sounds like he was a great dad.”

“He was.” I swallow hard. “Not that he was perfect. But even though he had this important job, he still made his family his priority.”

“It must be even harder now,” he says. “With everything that’s happened.” His arms come around me, and he kisses the top of my head. “I wish I could make things better for you. I know you’re hurting, and sad, and scared…”

I tilt my head back to look at him. The pain in his eyes makes my heart twist.

He’s upset because he cares about me.

“It’s not all bad,” I say. “Silver linings, you know?”

“Like what?” Micah asks.

“Like… a lot of them, really. With my dad—I miss him. But I had thirty years with him, too. All those memories, and the things he taught me… even though he’s gone, I still carry them with me.”

“Ruby.” Micah hugs me more tightly.

“And now,” I continue, “some really awful things happened. But good things happened, too. I’ve gotten to spend more time with you. I finally met Sampson. Your friends. And…”

My heart thumps unevenly as I debate saying the next part.

“And?”

What did Sofia say? Talk to Micah. Tell him how I’m feeling.

On a deep breath and exhale, I say, “I got to kiss you. More than once. If that’s not a silver lining, I’m not sure what is.”

A slow smile spreads across his face. “That’s true. Kissing you is definitely an unexpected gift.” His lips brush across mine. “I thought about it, you know. Every time I saw you.”

My breath catches. “You did?”

Micah kisses me again. “Yes. Before. And after.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask why he never acted on it, then. Never asked me out. Never said anything to let me know he wanted more than friendship.

But doesn’t it go both ways? I was attracted to Micah. But I was so set on staying single, I closed myself off to the opportunity. Up until my feelings for him became too strong to ignore ‌anymore.

Almost as though he’s reading my mind, Micah says, “I’ve avoided relationships for a long time. In the past, I had really bad luck with them. So I decided it was easier—” He grimaces. “I thought it was safer, too. To stay single. Not very brave, when I think about it.”

“That’s what I did,” I reply. “I told myself being single was better. But.” I stroke his jaw, running my finger across his freshly-shaven skin. “Choosing to stay single doesn’t mean you’re not brave, Micah.”

He raises his eyebrows at me. “No?”

“Sometimes protecting yourself is the best thing to do. Sometimes, deep down, you know you’re not ready for something. Maybe that’s what it was.”

Micah just looks at me, his features creased in thought. Then he says, “Maybe you’re right. But now… I don’t think I feel the same way anymore.”

My heart stutters. Is that good? Or bad?

“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously.