Page 62 of Fallen Creed

“So, what do you want to talk to me about?”

This time he smiled at her and said, “I guess I’m busted.”

“Last night?”

“No,” he said, and immediately regretted his bumbling. “Not unless you want to talk. I just wanted to ask you...”

Her expression reminded him of a wounded animal. One glance in the rearview mirror, and he saw Hank looking up and watching, ready to console.

“Do you want to go back?” Jason blurted out. It was silly to sugar-coat anything with Brodie. “Because we absolutely can do that.”

“But what about Ryder?”

“We’ll figure out something else.”

She sat quietly again, chin down, eyes out the window, hands wringing the hem of her shirt. Kitten stretched out in her lap, and Brodie’s fingers left the twisted fabric to pet the cat.

“I don’t understand why I feel like this,” she said.

“Like you’re swimming away from the edge, and you can’t feel the bottom anymore.”

Her eyes flew up to meet his, and he could see her contemplating the idea. She was an excellent swimmer. Ryder trusted her to do the water training for their scent dogs.

“You finally found a comfortable spot,” he continued. “Why leave that and move into deeper waters?” Now he was sounding lame even to himself. He needed to stop while he was ahead. What would Hannah say? She was so much better at this. Maybe it was best if he stuck to what he knew.

“When I got back from Afghanistan, I felt like everyone was staring at my empty sleeve. My family didn’t have a clue how to deal with what happened to me. I felt like I might drown in their pity.”

She was listening, eyes wide and intent. That was something he noticed about Brodie. She gave him her full attention, as if she wanted to hear every single word. Sometimes he felt like his buddies listened only until they found a break to interrupt and get their chance to talk.

“But Hannah and Ryder,” Jason said, “they didn’t see what I couldn’t do. They saw past my amputated arm and looked at all the things I could do.”

He shrugged, uncomfortable that he was making this about himself and not Brodie.

Still, he continued, “The thing is, I’ve got a new home and a new family, and it’s great. But feeling safe and secure...” he struggled to find the words. “I don’t think it’s necessarily about a single physical place. This sounds corny, but I think it’s a feeling deep down inside you. Something you take with you, no matter where you go.”

Her forehead scrunched, but her face remained blank. She was good at hiding her feelings. That was partly why last night had taken him off guard.

Jason wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do this. That it was okay if she wasn’t ready to venture out beyond her comfort zone. After what she’d gone through, she deserved some leeway. She didn’t have to be brave 24/7.

He wanted to remind her that Ryder wouldn’t want her to jeopardize all the progress she’d made just to go looking for him. Actually, Ryder would be upset with Jason for allowing her to come along. He’d be worried that something like last night would happen.

“I want to help find Ryder,” she said. “I don’t want you to think I’m a big baby and so messed up that I’ll be in the way.”

“I would never think that at all. We’re in this together.”

“Are you going to tell Hannah and Ryder about last night?”

“Last night?” He pretended to play dumb. “We got rooms at the Drury Inn. Got some sleep and had a darn good free breakfast.”

She offered a slight smile, but a hint of embarrassment flitted across her face before she knew how to hide it.

“And I won’t tell Hannah how much you liked their biscuits,” she said with a bigger smile.

“That’s a deal.”

—49—

Along the Platte River, Nebraska