Page 16 of Not the Punk

Chapter nine

Joe Denver Show

Denver, Colorado

Christmas break started right after this show, and I needed it. I was overly cranky and missed Colten like crazy. Maybe Colten could visit during the holiday, or I could go there. That’s what Kay and Don always did. They were either in Miami or LA together on breaks. If I could work it out, one of those things needed to happen. Not only did I miss the hell out of Colten, but the band had a lot of tension going on that I couldn’t do anything about.

Dave was pouting all the time, feeling left out, and Pierce was constantly smarting off to everyone. Thankfully, I had Kay, the only one in the band without a fucking ego. Honestly, I could be happy if I didn’t have to see any of them again. But then we wouldn’t have a band.

Kay and I could relate to our men not being around. Don had to be in LA for some work, and Saxon flew back to Miami for the final install on a design job, so Kay and I were both alone. I jumped on his bus with him and we rode together.

We played video games to distract each other most of the day, but as we got closer to the venue, the Ball Arena, I recalled how it had elicited all kinds of jokes the last time we reviewed the schedule. Dave was even calling it the Hang Your Balls Out Arena, which made everyone snort and giggle. When we looked out the window earlier, we only saw tree-covered hills, but as we got closer, we traded the view for a more urban one, but we could still see mountains in the distance.

We would jump straight into a sound check when we got there and head to the hotel afterward. We’d have the typical series of interviews in the morning, plus a meet and greet before the show.

Kay put his controller down. “Let’s call Colten.”

“Okay.” I wasn’t going to ask why he wanted to call my boyfriend instead of his. I was simply going to jump on it and I grabbed my phone.

“Joe? Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good. I’m riding with Kay.”

“Hello, Unca,” Kay threw in.

Colten laughed. “Hi, Kay. Yeah, I heard Saxon was stuck in Miami.”

“He made a super cool playroom for a Little we met at a club and wanted to make sure the last pieces were all done right.”

“That sounds like him.”

We spent the rest of the ride joking and kidding around, not getting serious since Kay was there with us. But then we pulled into the stadium. “Oh, Colten, we have to go now. We’re there.”

“Hope you have a good show.”

“Thanks.” The bus stopped. “I miss you, Colten.”

Kay made an aww sound.

“Miss you too. Maybe we’ll see each other for Christmas. Call me tomorrow. Or after the show tonight. I’ll be up.”

“I will.”

Kay made a kissy face, and I shoved him and clicked off our call. “Did you just want me to call so you could tease me?”

“No…yes. I don’t know. I was getting bored looking at your scowly face ‘cause you missed your Daddy.” He covered his mouth.

But it didn’t trigger anything for me, so I shrugged. I missed him more than worrying about what to call him, and I wished he was with us and could be here at the show.

Kay put his arm around me and squeezed tight. “Trust me. I get it. Teasing aside, it was like that when we first got with our Daddy. And when I was first with just Donny and he had to go do lawyer stuffs.”

“You like being a Little?” That was more interesting than whether we missed our people.

“Yep. It’s fun. There’s more to it than that, though. It’s like part of me. I can just let everything go, like when we were kids. I don’t worry about anything. Daddy makes sure bills are paid and we’re fed.” He shrugged. “I just do my thing and play.”

“That does sound kind of nice. But I don’t know if I could let go of everything, especially my finances. I mean. My ex did a number on me, and I have a hard time trusting.” He’d never paid for anything at our apartment, except surprises that we didn’t need. Then when I told him I was done, he actually packed up the entire apartment, including my guitars and everything. The only thing he didn’t take was a few dishes and the bed. I was left standing in the middle of an empty room, wondering what the fuck had happened. I wasn’t even surprised when I discovered he’d also drained my bank account. Thankfully, just the checking, but honestly, there wasn’t much left in savings either.

“You don’t have to let go of everything to be Little. You can be Little when you need to de-stress or hang out with me and Donny, and Donny doesn’t let go of all his finances, and he’s a second eye for mine and Saxon’s. You make it whatever works for you.”