Page 259 of Faking the Goal

Caroline makes a sound somewhere between a gasp and a squeal. "Orgasms?"

"Please don't make me regret telling you this."

"As in plural?"

I bite my lip, already losing the battle against my grin. "Very plural."

Her eyes nearly pop out of her head. "Every night?"

"Without a miss," I admit, my face officially on fire.

"Taylor!" Her scandalized squeal finally breaks me, and I dissolve into laughter while she stares at me like I've been concealing matters of national importance from her. "Oh my God." She grabs my arm, laughing now too. "At least tell me it's good."

I probably should preserve what little dignity I have left.

Instead, I lower my hands and give her a slow, deeply satisfied grin. "Let's just say Ken-chan is a very talented man."

The sound Caroline makes has me laughing so hard I nearly spill the popcorn, and for the next minute or two, neither of us is capable of taking anything seriously. She teases me, I threaten her life if a single word ever reaches Zach, and somehow that only makes us laugh harder.

And God, I like this.

Not merely having someone to tell about the mortifying details of my sex life, but having someone I want to tell. Someone I can sit around with in pajamas, eating junk food and talking about boys like we're sixteen, except apparently our version includes stalkers, fake relationships, and orgasms. I've had women I've gotten along with before, but never this.

And as unfamiliar as it still feels sometimes, sitting here laughing with Caroline makes me wish I'd had this years ago.

Eventually, though, my laughter fades because the funny part isn't the reason I needed to tell her any of this.

"The orgasms aren't actually my problem."

Caroline snorts. "That's a sentence I never expected to hear."

"I'm serious." I pull my knees closer beneath the blanket and glance toward the laptop as the broadcast returns from commercial. "The problem is, this was only ever supposed to be a fake arrangement. We had rules when we started this whole thing, and the biggest one was that neither of us was allowed to catch feelings."

Which, at the time, seemed perfectly reasonable.

We were supposed to fool everyone else. That was the whole point. Make friends, teammates, strangers, and one deranged stalker believe Kentaro Azuma was in love with me.

My heart was never supposed to believe it too.

And maybe that would have been easier if I were better at this whole attachment thing. But I'm not. I learned a long time ago not to get too comfortable with people, because wanting someone to stay has never been enough to make them stay. So I got good at keeping things shallow. Flirting is easy. Sex is easy. Letting someone matter enough that they could actually hurt me? That's the part I've spent years avoiding.

Then Kentaro came along and somehow made himself important without ever asking permission.

He just kept showing up. He believed me. Protected me. Took care of me without making me feel like a burden. And somewhere along the way, I stopped bracing for him to disappear and started trusting that when he said he'd be there, he actually would.

That's what scares me.

I drag my attention back to Caroline, who's still watching me patiently from beside the laptop.

"And that's the problem," I say quietly. "I broke the one rule I was so fucking sure would be the easiest one to keep."

I hesitate, because apparently even after admitting it to myself, saying it out loud is another matter entirely.

"I'm starting to really like Kentaro."

The words barely leave my mouth before I shake my head.

No.