Page 39 of Summer Ride

Kara’s immediate internal response was… good. Why should I care?

But then his words sank in and she frowned. “Her wishes?” She looked down at the envelope he was trying to give her.

Daniel sighed loudly, as if annoyed, then shoved the envelope towards her. She took it and held it in her hands while he added in a firm tone, “For you. From her.”

She looked down at the envelope. When she did, her brother turned away.

“I’ve done what I promised her I would. Goodbye, Mary Ester.” Without looking back, he walked out of the house.

Kara sank into a barstool and looked down at the thick envelope with her name on the top, written in a handwriting style that she’d almost forgotten. Her mother’s.

“Are you okay?” Carter asked, laying a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

After a long silent moment had passed, she set the envelope down, walked to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of wine. After pouring a glass and taking a sip, she glanced at the envelope again.

“Open it,” she said to Carter.

“You sure?” he asked, watching her.

She nodded a few times vigorously. “Do it.”

Carter picked up the envelope and carefully tore it open.

“It’s a letter.” He looked up at her. “Want me to…”

“Yes.” She waved the glass, then held up a finger and took a sip of her wine. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Carter looked down and took a moment before he started reading.

“My dearest daughter, Mary Ester.” Carter glanced up at her. She tried to keep the emotions off her face, to hold it all in. He noticed and continued reading. “As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in the hospital, battling the evil that is once more ravishing and consuming my body. I have made Daniel swear on the bible that he will find you and deliver this message, unopened, once I’ve gone to be with our Lord. Daughter, I have grown so much in the past years thanks to this battle I’m fighting all on my own. Your father and brother don’t think it’s fit for a Christian man to sit beside me during my chemo sessions. They think it shows weakness. Nor do they think it’s godly to discuss the female disease that will take the woman, the mother, they claimed to have loved. Well, to that I say, fuck them.” Carter smiled and glanced up at her. She swallowed and felt her stomach roll. He glanced back down and continued. “All of these years I did my godly duty as a wife, as a mother. I raised my children to know the love of their Lord. I raised them to fear evil. In reality, I let evil into the house, into my bed each night. The moment your sister, Ruth Ann, came of age, your father arranged for her to marry one of the youth pastors at the church. I’d like to say there was hope for her or your brother in life, but I’m afraid they are too far gone into the world your father created for them. I, on the other hand, am doing everything I can to finally be free. I wish I had enough strength to beat this damned disease and hunt you down myself and tell you—no, show you—how sorry I am, then I would never let you go again. All these years, I’ve lived with the shame of never having stood up for what I knew to be the truth. When you were discovered to be with Axel Johnson, I knew in my gut what had happened. That he had used your father and I to get to you. Your father let that evil man into our home to help him replace our flooring the week before you disappeared. There was no doubt in my mind that he took you against your will. You weren’t even interested in boys yet. Still, your father was in charge, and I believed God’s word, that he was the head of the house. There are a few things I believe you should know. The morning after you went missing, your father called the police and told them you’d run away. He didn’t seem worried or upset that you were gone. I don’t know what that means, but I needed that off my chest. Not a day has gone by since I haven’t toiled over that thought. Over the idea that he may have had something to do with your disappearance. I can only hope that you will forgive a silly woman who believed a lifetime of lies in exchange for a bit of happiness. Know this—I loved you with all of my heart. You were always so much like me, like I used to be, a free spirit. I think that’s what your father hated about you the most. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t stand up for you, for what was right. I hope you found happiness in life. I know it won’t make up for the damage I caused you but enclosed in this envelope is a cashier’s check. It is everything I inherited from my parents, money that your father has controlled our entire lives. It’s mine and for once I’m going to do what I want with it, by giving it to you. I know for a fact that your father and brother don’t need help moving on after I’m gone. I’ve been nothing but a burden to them in the past months, and it’s helped me come to terms with who they really are and what’s important to them. Your sister has her husband to care for her and, honestly, I’m pleased with the match as best as I can be. Which is why I’m giving you everything that I worked hard for in my short time here on earth. Maybe it will give you a second chance at happiness. Somehow I just know that if I could have found you and said all of this to your face, you would have forgiven me and we would have become close. You are, without a doubt, the biggest regret, and the biggest joy I ever had in my life. With all my love, your mother.”

She couldn’t breathe. Doubling over, she gasped for air, sucking in breath after breath as Carter wrapped his arms around her.

“Easy,” he said, his voice soothing her until finally the stars in her vision twinkled out and she could see and hear once more.

“I…” She shook her head.

“Drink,” Carter said, handing her a glass.

She assumed it was her wine, but instead gulped a large sip of cold water.

“Are you okay?” he asked after a moment.

She nodded, then glanced over to the paper sitting on the edge of the countertop.

“I don’t want her money.” She closed her eyes and laid her forehead on the countertop.

Instead of answering, Carter just held onto her. “How about we eat some dinner and put all this aside for a while?”

At the thought of food, her stomach growled loudly.

“It might distract you if you helped me make the steaks,” he asked. She knew he was trying to lighten the mood.

It was then that she noticed his cheek was a little bruised. Touching the spot, she frowned. “Did you get this at the sanctuary today?”

He laid his hand over hers. “No, that little gift was thanks to your brother. He doesn’t like it that we are living in sin.”