Page 15 of Built to Last

My microburst of pouting didn’t go unnoticed. Sam was standing near the edge of the shelves where we displayed bags of coffee beans and other stuff we sold, the tablet we used to do inventory in his hands. He should have been counting mugs with the Common Grounds logo or the t-shirts we’d had printed up a few months ago, but he was watching me with a curious look instead.

I was seconds away from scowling at him or maybe giving him the finger in true younger brotherly style, but the bell hanging over the front door jingled, and Diccon called out, “Theo! What are you doing here? I thought you were working today.”

I twisted to see my little brother’s boyfriend, Theo, walk into the café with a grin so broad it made Marco’s smile seem ordinary. More than that, he held a pot of chrysanthemums in his hands.

“I decided to take a half day,” Theo said, approaching the counter. It was the end of the morning rush and no one happened to be standing there ordering coffee. Theo set the chrysanthemums on the counter, then leaned in to kiss Diccon. The two of them were treacly sweet as they kissed while leaning as close as they could to each other over the counter. All they needed was a soda fountain and heart-shaped decorations around them and they would have looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. If Norman Rockwell had painted gay men kissing.

“You brought me flowers,” Diccon said when he shifted back and stopped standing on tiptoe. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“They’re pretty,” Theo said with a shrug. He blushed, which, with his Irish coloring, made him look as red and rosy as the changing season outside. “And they were on sale. Penny’s had a display of them which I couldn’t resist walking over here from the office.”

“They’re perfect,” Diccon beamed. “And it’s a potted plant, so they’ll last way longer than cut flowers.”

“I’m here to take over,” Chase said, coming in from the office, where he must have clocked in for his shift. “You two can go off and do whatever lovebirds do these days.”

“Thanks,” Diccon said, abandoning his place behind the counter for Chase. He practically raced around to the front of the counter and slipped right into Theo’s arms. “Now I can thank you properly.”

The two of them smashed their faces together with enough enthusiasm to make me roll my eyes. I didn’t roll my eyes, though. I watched them, something that felt like a gaping tear in my insides growing as they enjoyed each other.

“Not in front of the customers,” Sam called out playfully from the side.

The only customers in the café at that time of the morning were regulars who were used to the over-the-top queerness that sometimes burst its seams at Common Ground. Anyone who didn’t know how queer friendly the café was, how queer friendly the whole neighborhood was, hadn’t been paying attention, and if they objected, we didn’t need their business.

“Let’s take these babies home, then we can go out and find some lunch,” Diccon said, grabbing the chrysanthemums and hooking his arm around Theo’s waist as they headed for the door. “Everybody have a great day!” He waved to us all as the two of them left the shop.

I fought the sigh that wanted to escape my lungs and started toward the office again. And again, my mood didn’t go unnoticed. Sam left what he was doing, followed me into the office, and shut the door behind him, which he never did unless he was about to conduct a “Come to Jesus” meeting.

“Are you okay?” he asked, too much like Marco had asked me.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay?” I walked stiffly to my desk and sat down.

Sam shrugged and moved to the chair in front of the desk, sitting as I sat. “You tell me,” he said.

“There’s nothing to tell,” I insisted, unable to look him in the eyes.

He sat there watching me for a second as I tried to come up with something that would look like work so he would leave me alone. I couldn’t think of anything to do, though, which meant I had to glance up at Sam with a look that asked, “So?”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been a little, I don’t know, tetchy since Diccon started dating Theo and since Brian and I got together,” Sam said, laying it all out, just like that.

“Why would I mind that you and Diccon found people?” I asked, squirming in my seat, unable to get comfortable.

Sam smirked. “Usually, you’re the one dating someone while the two of us look on and wish we had someone to hang out and hook up with.”

“You two are doing more than just hooking up with your men,” I pointed out. “You’re both in relationships.”

I emphasized the words to try to be funny, but I came off as bitter instead.

Which sort of proved Sam’s point.

“Am I wrong to guess that you’d like to be with someone, too?” he asked, tilting his head to the side and looking way too much like Dad when he did.

“Not really,” I replied.

“Not really I’m wrong or not really you’d love to be in a relationship?”

“Not really as in I’m not really into this conversation,” I answered tersely.

Sam broke into a grin that I didn’t appreciate. “It’s Marco, isn’t it,” he said, his eyes saying he thought he knew some sort of secret I’d been hiding.