Page 97 of Silver Sinner

"Adrian is a strong, fine man. He would lead well and Moses would guide him. They wouldn't mourn me for long."

"Mourn you?" Surely he doesn't mean he'd fake his death.

"Men like me can't just walk away," he admits. "Not alive, at least."

I rise slightly in my seat and then settle back down with a soft groan. "No, I can't make you do that."

Pierce's hand suddenly reaches across the table and clasps my wrist with a touch so warm and achingly full of desire that my knees would go weak if I wasn't already sitting.

"You wouldn't make me do anything," he murmurs. "I would do it if it gave me a chance to be in your life."

I gaze down at his hand. After a moment, he seems to realize that it's breaking my no contact rule and starts to lift his palm away. I'm faster, turning my hand around and catching his fingers in my own.

"I've thought about it a lot this past week. How to protect Maddie. How to give her a life. How to keep her safe in a world that knows who she is and her relation to the Barsukovs and to you. I've thought about running to a hundred different countries, changing our names, cutting our hair and doing everything I can to make us not be… us."

Pierce doesn't speak but a small tremble moves through his fingers.

"But I keep coming back to the fact that I don't want to run and hide anymore. I don't want Madeline restricted in what she can or can't do. And even my best laid plans fall apart, because what would happen to her if something happened to me? If I got sick or had an accident and died before she was old enough to understand anything? And more than that, selfishly…" I lift my gaze and meet his eyes. "I don't want to lose you. I've lost so much because of Trik and his games. I lost my best friend because of him and his fucking schemes. I almost lost Maddie and you and my own life. I don't want to lose anything else."

My shoulders lift in a deep, weary sigh.

"But… raising Maddie in a criminal world… teaching her about who she is and how hundreds of violent criminals know her and will hold preconceived judgments based on who her father is… how do I keep her safe in a world like that? How do I keep her so safe that she will remain that way long after we've gone?"

"If I may?" Pierce says gently.

I nod.

"I… have never known anything different than a world that runs on money and criminal acts. To me, there is no other world. So I speak from the heart when I tell you there are ways. If you want, she can be taught. She can be taught to fight and defend herself, how to pick out the trusted from the rats, how to be successful in a world where your name determines your value. It's not perfect. God knows it's not safe. But being in the circle and knowing how to defend yourself is a damn sight better than being outside it and having no clue."

He makes sense. Deep down, I know this was always Madeline's fate. Trik made it clear that Pavel's desire for an heir and a strong bloodline would always overrule everything, so even without Pierce in my life, they always would have come for her eventually.

Probably sooner and with more deaths.

"You can keep her safe?"

"With my every breath," Pierce promises.

"And me?"

His fingers flex briefly in mine. "That's not even a question."

"Can you teach me as well?" I straighten my shoulders. "I don't ever want to be in that kind of position again, but if it ever happens, I want to be able to defend myself. I'm not saying I want to kill people or anything like that but…" I swallow hard. "Can you teach me?"

Pierce is nodding before I've even finished speaking. "Of course I can. Does…" His cheeks suddenly pink and he adjusts his stance. "Does that mean you're going to stay?"

I nod slowly. "It's the safest thing I can think of."

"You're going to stay… with me?"

Despite the gray in his hair and the wrinkles decorating his handsome face, I'm struck by how adorable he looks as nerves take over. Knowing there's a chance Maddie can have whatever life she wants while being safe and able to protect herself is all I can ask for. And second to that, as selfish as it is, is knowing Pierce will be there.

"Did you miss the part where I was sad that you wouldn't be able to run away with me?" I murmur, threading our fingers together. "If I'm honest, and given that's all we've been while talking, I can't imagine my life without you now. Everything you've done for me without asking for anything in return, saving my life and Maddie's multiple times, caring for me like I'm something precious… you make me feel safe. Protected. That's why I never took Trik's threats seriously, because how could he be worth my time when I had you to focus on?”

The pink doesn't fade from Pierce's cheeks and his smile grows. "So you still like me?"

"You're ridiculous."

"You do, don't you?" Keeping his hand in mine, he slowly moves around the counter until he's standing in front of me.