Page 89 of Escape from the Green

I won't deny a small twinge of disappointment even if the more rational part of me understood that this fate was for the best. There was so much to do. There was so much work awaiting us. I didn't want to be tilling fields while fighting off waves of nausea.

I wanted a chance to experience the life of a member of the clan. I wanted to till, plant, harvest, preserve. I wanted to learn how to grow potatoes in the root cellar, how to dry tea leaves and chamomile flowers for tea to keep our insides warm in the cold months.

Then maybe the following fall I could consider something as life-changing as motherhood.

"Here, sis," Nesta said, shouldering in beside me, holding out a small glass vial to me full of a yellowish oil. "It won't taste all that great, but it will ease your ails," she told me, knowing about my ails because I had needed to go to her about supplies, not having packed any myself.

"Primrose oil?" I asked, pulling off the cap to sniff it.

"I swear by it. We will show you how to make a supply for yourself when the flowers are in bloom again. All in good time. Have a nice trip," she told me, giving me a smile that pulled a bit, making me wonder if she was perhaps envious, if she had ever fostered hopes about seeing a world outside of the veil they were sheltered behind. "Be safe," she added, giving me a one-arm hug since she was holding her sleeping child in the other.

"You ready?" Drake asked, exhaling hard. "We have to get out of here before there is another round of goodbyes," he added in a small voice near my ear.

So with that, his hand closed over mine, and we walked away from the people who had always been his, but were rapidly becoming my, family.

Eager as I was to see Smoky and Sal again, there was a swirling feeling in my stomach at the idea of leaving our new home.

But it was a quick trip.

And I could get word to my siblings that things were getting bad in The Green but that I was okay, that I was happy and safe.

I hoped the same could be said of them.

After all they had been through.

With all that stood before them.

"Oh this feels weird," I told Drake as we moved through the veil, feeling a yanking sensation at my back, like it was trying to pull me back in.

"It's because you're one of us now. The veil recognizes that."

We came through the same clearing we had stepped in from weeks before, finding the ground clear and soggy, our shoes sinking into the mud leftover from so much snow melting so quickly.

Above us, the sun filtered in through the trees where new buds were already forming, just waiting for the weather to stay constant enough to allow them to burst to life.

"You okay?" Drake asked, and I could feel his gaze on me.

"Just nervous, I guess," I admitted. "The last time we were here, we were - essentially - running for our lives."

"I get that," he agreed, giving my hip a squeeze as he kissed my temple. "What are you taking?" he asked when I pulled out the vial, feeling my uterus squeeze painfully, knowing the cramps would only get worse as the day went on if I didn't get the oil in my system. Taking the vial from me, he sniffed it. "Ah," he said, nodding. "No little Draca running around the harvest this year, then?"

"Maybe next year," I told him with a small smile as he pocketed the empty vial, slipping it into his bag.

"I can wait," he agreed, kissing my temple as we started walking.

A part of me maybe expected danger at every turn.

In reality, there were simply birds chirping happily above us, glad for an end to the freezing weather, a chance to find plentiful food again, for mating season to begin. We even passed the occasional fae who offered us smiles or general pleasantries as we moved past, looking very much like a couple who were on their way to the Light Court or possibly a day at the market. Maybe even one of the many Ostara festivals that were bound to be going on.

It was a few long hours of walking before we finally closed in on some big nest of sorts, a place Drake claimed Sal had once called home, thought the only thing that it was home to now seemed to be a small mouse family who very much enjoyed the privacy of their new home.

"We never did settle on a time, "Drake reminded me, trying to ease the anxiety that was clearly overtaking my system at being left waiting.

"Right," I agreed, angling my head up to watch the trees, knowing how Smoky preferred to travel between them. Partly because it was safer, sure, but I had a sneaking suspicion it was just as much because she could avoid all other fae by staying way above them, unseen, unheard, free to continue her solitary existence.

I wanted to know how she was. If she had maybe put some more weight on. If Sal had made any progress with her.

I think especially now that I had found my people, that I knew the warmth of connection, the sweet taste of love, I wanted it all the more for her. This woman who had lived a harder life than I had, who deserved more happiness - if such a thing was possible - which I was starting to think didn't exist - than I had.