Page 52 of Jealous Guy

Since I fucked him, they’ve looked a lot puffier through my own eyes too.

It’s not that I regret fucking Orion. I don’t. I stand by my decision in a big way. He’s my best friend, and he needed help with something, so of course I was happy to help him.

I don’t regret it at all.

It’s just that I do regret flipping him over midway through. I was fine hitting from behind. It felt good. Better than good. I was having the time of my life drilling into him, actually. His ass was really sweet. Sweeter than I thought it would be. Muscular and smooth with exactly enough meat to give it that jiggle I like to see when I pound.

It was snug and warm inside.

Nice and tight.

Real nice and tight.

There was a novelty I wasn’t expecting. A rippling heat. A major buzz I got from doing it with a dude that surprised me. I told myself an ass is an ass beforehand. I told myself it was no big deal and that it wouldn’t affect me much or anything like that.

I was fine when he was on his hands and knees.

I thought I’d be fine when he was on his back too.

I didn’t expect him to look like that. Completely laid bare. More authentic, more real, more Orion than I’ve ever seen him. It made me feel like there was so much about him I didn’t know. Like I’d only ever scratched the surface of knowing him.

Looking into his eyes as he lay there, spread open for me, did something to my brain chemistry.

I’ve had a lot of sex in my life. I know some people think that’s a bad thing. They think it makes it less meaningful or something. But that isn’t true at all for me. I find sex very meaningful. I see it as a way to connect with someone, to share an experience that transcends the here and now, and I think that’s beautiful.

It’s just that I’ve never had sex with someone I was already connected to.

When I rolled Orion onto his back, something happened to me. Something cracked. Something in my chest opened and poured out of me and into him. Whatever it was, I could have sworn the same thing poured from Orion to me. I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s like a whole other world exists that I had no idea about. A world that’s been there all along, close but fractionally out of reach.

Every time I thrust into him, it got stronger. By the time I came, I hardly knew where I was anymore. All that existed was Orion. Orion as he looks to me and Orion as he looks to guys who are attracted to men.

As he writhed on my dick, those two things merged into one.

I look back at our table and see Thomas leaning down to say something to Orion. Orion has his head turned away from him fractionally, and there’s a slight tension in his shoulders that lets me know he’s uncomfortable. I push my way out of the line hurriedly and get to our table in time to hear Thomas say, “If you’re looking for a Daddy, baby, I’m your guy.”

A sea of green singes the periphery of my field of vision. Bright green. Electric green with lashings of crimson in it. The color swirls, tightening and swimming inward until the only thing I can make out clearly is Orion.

My hand darts out of its own accord, palm connecting solidly with Thomas’s sternum and shoving him back at least two paces. “Fuck off, asshole. I’m his Daddy.”

Thomas retreats with a stammered apology and a distinctly bewildered line between his brows. Orion gapes at me, opening and closing his mouth without letting a sound out.

I’d be angrier about the Thomas situation and more worried about how Orion is looking at me, if not for the fact that a distinctive face I know has just sailed into Dorothy’s.

Iver Deacon.

Iver is Summer’s cousin. He's an unusual guy. Super quiet and a little hard to get to know as a result, but he’s definitely someone we know well enough that we go out of our way to greet him if we run into him.

It’s a fucking disaster.

In all my panic about Andy, I forgot to worry about Iver. It didn’t even occur to me because he’s not in our immediate friend group. But Orion definitely knows him, and believe me, Iver is a major threat to anyone with a vague interest in penises. It doesn’t even really matter which way your dick normally swings. Iver is so striking that even without his body or his hair, his face alone is enough to sexually confuse the crap out of anyone. He’s one of those guys who looks masculine one second and eye-wateringly soft the next. On top of that, he’s incredibly musical, has a quirky sense of personal style Orion has referred to as interesting on at least one occasion, and he’s all mysterious and shit because he never speaks to anyone other than Summer.

Ugh.

I hate it here.

I want to go home.

I corral Orion to the left a little to ensure he has his back to Iver and make a concerted effort to keep his attention on me. Fortunately, he doesn’t notice what I’m up to because he’s so busy laying into me for how I treated Thomas.