Page 47 of Jealous Guy

Alive.

Alive in a way I’ve never been. A way that matters and keeps going until Jordan loses his stride and pulls out of me. He rips the condom off and drops it onto the floor next to the bed.

He looks wrecked.

Fucked.

His eyes are dull, tracking slowly until they find mine and lock there. He holds himself up over me on his knees and one arm and uses his free hand to jack himself off. His hand moves fast. Powerfully. Brutally male. He clenches his jaw, clamping his teeth together. The sinews in his neck strain and color swims up the upper quadrant of his body.

His hair is a mess. Matted and knotted. He’s covered in sweat and his face is a mask. A wild, animalistic grimace with flared nostrils and too many teeth.

In all my days, all my life, I’ve never seen anything I love more.

I reach up, watching my hand float through the air with a disjointed sort of amazement, and cup his cheek even though it’s the exact kind of gesture I’ve always explicitly forbidden myself from making.

His hand moves between his legs.

Up.

Down.

Hard.

Harder.

At the last second, he turns his face, dipping his head, leaning his cheek into my touch, and roars as he comes.

24

Orion

The fog lifts in slow, sludgy stages. I gradually become aware of my surroundings. I’m in Jordan’s bed. My ass, head, and heart are throbbing, pulsing in time with each other. My balls are empty, my dick spent and soft on my belly. Jordan is on his back next to me, panting so hard I can feel his lungs working through the mattress.

“Give me a sec,” he says. “I’ll grab a towel and clean you up.”

I look down at a body that hardly feels like it belongs to me and see that I’m covered, and I really do mean covered, in cum. There are lashings of it all over my chest and pools of it near my navel. It’s everywhere.

It’s his and mine.

I push myself up, all but leaping from the bed when I realize how I must look. It takes me a second to find my balance. “It’s all good. I’ll get cleaned up. You get some sleep.”

“So what…?” He’s still slowed from his orgasm, but he manages a toothy grin that leans strongly toward shithead. “No cuddling?”

“In your dreams, dipshit.”

“I feel used, Orion,” he yells after me, laughing.

I hobble out of the room with lube trickling out of my ass and cum running down my stomach and thighs, hoping like hell he isn’t watching me go because I’m positive it isn’t my best look.

I lock myself in the bathroom and eye myself critically in the mirror. My eyes are bleary, my lips, cheeks, and neck bright pink. I’m covered in more semen than I’ve seen in real life, and I’m more acutely aware of my anus than I’ve ever been. I’m completely spaced out and totally focused. My mind is vacant and sharp. Every nerve in my body feels like it’s fired at once.

When the stream runs hot, I step under the spout and let the water wash over me, trickling down from the top of my head to my toes. It rushes down my face, my chest, my crack, erasing all evidence of what happened.

I don’t even realize I’m about to cry before the first sob is torn from my throat. Hot tears spill from my eyes, running down my face and washing away with everything else. I shiver uncontrollably despite the temperature of the water as the events of the night hit me. I just got fucked for the first time. I lost my virginity. It was supposed to be an awkward, slightly fumbled experience. A fond memory to look back on in years to come and laugh about how much sex has improved since then.

For me, it won’t be like that.

I had the first fuck of my life, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.