Page 40 of Jealous Guy

My stomach drops at the thought of some guy touching Orion like that, but my dick is majorly into anal, so it gets its wires crossed and stiffens even though the conversation has nothing to do with it. It’s a weird combination of horny and upset that doesn’t make sense, but this isn’t about me. I’m here to support Orion. “Just what, O?”

“Don’t laugh, okay?”

“I won’t. Swear on my life.”

He turns his head, hiding his face in my shoulder. He speaks so quietly I almost don’t hear him. “I’m scared it will hurt.”

My entire body flushes cold, then hot. Orion is afraid. He’s scared of making himself vulnerable to someone and being hurt. Rage and fury and green things blur my field of vision.

“Is that dumb?”

“No! It’s not dumb. It makes total sense. You have a low pain tolerance. Remember what happened with the crusty bread? It’s been years, and you’re still traumatized.”

Orion’s head gets heavier on my shoulder. Some of his tension has left him and things are returning to normal between us. “I know. I think about that all the time. If I can’t even eat crusty bread without being a pussy about it, how the hell am I going to handle getting fucked?”

“It’s totally rational, O. Taking a dick for the first time is a big deal. If the guy doesn’t know what he’s doing, it can hurt a lot. That’s the truth. You definitely shouldn’t do it with someone you don’t know. It’s a massive risk. You should take your time and make sure you find the right guy. There’s no rush. You can take as much time as you like. Years if you need to. It should be someone who really knows what he’s doing in bed. Someone with a lot of experience.” My head starts bobbing again, more determinedly, as if it’s independently in total agreement with what I’m saying. “It should be someone who knows you well. Really well. Better than anyone. Someone who knows you inside out, and cares about you, and knows what you like and don’t like, and—”

“You’re the only person who knows me like that, Jordan, and you know it. I’m never going to be this comfortable around some guy I find on an app and—”

“Exactly. You shouldn’t do it with some guy on an app. You should do it with someone you know.”

“What?” Orion huffs a dry laugh against my shoulder, and I feel the beginning of an epic eye roll coming on. “Are you offering?”

The flush of heat from before comes to life again, blazing a trail down my body and settling heavily in my lap.

I wasn’t offering.

Was I?

I don’t think I was, but when I think about it, it’s not the worst idea.

It’s not even a bad idea.

It honestly isn’t. It’s actually a pretty good idea. No one knows Orion better than I do. No one cares about him more. I know what he likes and what he doesn’t. I know how to read him better than anyone.

I’m a great option. I know him well. I’d rather die than hurt him. And I’m not bad-looking.

Okay, fine, I’m good-looking, but not in an obvious way like Andy. Basically, I’m the right amount of good-looking for something like this. And not to blow my own trumpet, but I’m really, really good in bed. Not selfish at all.

Plus, I’m a huge fan of anal. Seriously, a huge fan.

“Sure,” I say, taking care to keep my voice even, “I’ll fuck you.”

21

Jordan

The more I think about it, the more I’m into this idea. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier. It literally solves everything. If I fuck Orion, I won’t have to worry about him going to some dangerous park in the middle of the night without me.

I won’t have to worry about random guys treating him badly. Or touching him at all.

If his first time is with me, I won’t have to worry about him getting hurt because I know I’ll make it good for him. He’ll be safe with me. He always is.

On top of all that, if I fuck him, I won’t feel left out anymore, or like I don’t know what’s going on with his life. It will be something Orion and I do together. A core memory for both of us.

Yes.

I like this idea.