Page 30 of Jealous Guy

He’s not tossing and turning like he was last night, and he doesn’t have a fever anymore, but I think I’m going to sleep with him tonight to be on the safe side. I get into his bed as quietly as I can, trying not to depress the mattress any more than I have to, so as not to disturb him. It doesn’t work.

“You should go to your own bed, Jordan. You’re going to get sick if you sleep here.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I got the flu shot a couple of months ago.”

His back tenses when I mention the shot and takes a while to relax. I think that’s the end of it and he’s gone back to sleep, but he mumbles something about whether they put the needle in my arm or my butt. It’s funny. He’s so out of it that his words are slurred and mostly inaudible. When he asked where they put the needle, it almost sounded like he said, “Did they put it in your arm or in your beautiful butt?”

I fight the urge to giggle. “They put it in my arm, O. It was fine though. Okay? Don’t think about it now.”

“You’re brave, Jordy. Did I ever tell you that?”

My attempt not to laugh goes a bit wonky. “I’m brave because I got a shot?”

“Not only because of that. You’re brave for lots of reasons.”

Not going to lie, I kind of love this loopy version of Orion.

Orion groans softly in his sleep. It’s two or three in the morning and way too early for him to wake up. He’s sighing and starting to stir, so I move closer to him. Technically, what I’m doing is spooning him, but I don’t mind. I’m cool with this kind of thing. Doesn’t bother me at all, and I’ve never really gotten why it does bother some guys. It’s always seemed like nothing more than really dumb posturing to me. Why wouldn’t you do whatever it takes to make your friend feel better?

Once I’m tucked up nice and tight behind him, I put my arm around his waist and tug to make sure he knows I’m here.

At first I’m worried he’s going to get squirmy and push me away, but after a few seconds, I realize the opposite is happening. He is squirming, but not to get away from me. He’s squirming to get closer to me.

Huh.

“You’re going to feel so much better tomorrow, O, you’ll see,” I whisper.

“D’you swear?”

He sounds faraway and dreamy. I’m not sure if he’s awake or talking in his sleep. If he is awake, he’s definitely not fully aware.

“Yeah, I swear.”

I scoot a little closer to him. So close that my nose is practically buried in his hair. I don’t care if it’s extra that I’m like this. He’s probably going to be back to his usual self tomorrow, and it might be years before I get an opportunity like this again.

His chest rises, faltering before it falls. “You shouldn’t touch me like this, Jordy.”

Damn. Looks like the old Orion is back already.

“How come?”

He sighs softly and doesn’t reply. Maybe he’s drifted back into a deep sleep.

I close my eyes and will sleep to take me.

“’Cause,” Orion says, startling me. His voice is still dreamy, but it’s soft and hoarse now too. “I’m gay, and it means something different to me than it does to you.”

14

Orion

Please, please God, tell me that didn’t happen.

Tell me it was a fever dream. A nightmare. My brain’s way of taking the trash out after having a bad virus. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, tell me I didn’t actually blurt out something of that magnitude without even fucking meaning to.