Page 52 of The Tryout

He has such nice eyes.

“Finn, there’s no deadline on this stuff. Some people figure it out early, some people go almost their whole lives before they do. And yeah, I’m pretty sure how you’re brought up is gonna shape that, in ways I’ll probably never be able to understand. But there are plenty of folks out there who’d be happy to help you, no matter when it happens.”

There’s a brief lull as I consider his words, which feel kind if not exactly true. As the silence stretches, he jumps in again.

“Do you…do you find yourself attracted to different bodies? Or noticing some more than others?”

I think about the question, trying to give him an answer as honest as the ones he’s given me.

“I mean…all bodies are kinda nice, you know?”

Oh lord, what a dumb answer.

But Avery doesn’t seem to think it’s dumb. Instead he nods appreciatively.

“Yeah, they really are.”

Oh.

Bolstered by his agreement, I try again.

“But bodies aren’t, like, the thing that draws me to a person, you know?”

Avery looks intrigued at that.

“What is?”

I think on it for a few moments.

“Their laugh, or their personality, maybe?”

Or their kind, green eyes.

I try to shut down the thought, as I have every other time a similar thought has crossed my mind. Yes, Avery is without a doubt someone I feel that pull toward, but there’s no way in hell he feels the same way.

“We should kiss.”

His words tear into my thoughts, and for a second I worry that I was the one to speak them aloud.

“...what?”

Very intelligent, Finn.

“I mean, you’re trying to work things out, and I’m not lying. Plenty of people don’t mind; I’m one of them.”

For a moment, I just stare at him.

Do it. When else will you have a chance?

“You…don’t mind?”

He shakes his head gently, but also doesn’t move any closer.

Oh. He wants me to initiate?

I bite my lip, trying to talk myself out of this one more time. No luck.

I lean in, brushing my lips gently on his. After a moment, he responds, deepening the kiss just a bit, though his mouth stays closed.