Page 128 of The Tryout

Thinking back, I’m not even sure.

“I…I don’t know. Maybe both.”

He nods again.

“I also wanted to ask him what he would do. If you got traded, I mean.”

His face goes a little hard.

“He probably told you some bullshit about retiring, right?”

Thinking back to the conversation, I can’t help but be honest with Jamie.

“I don’t think it was bullshit.”

His shoulders slump, his face softening again.

“Neither do I. And I appreciate it, I do. But I don’t want him to have to give up something he loves for me, you know?”

I get that, but I think Jamie isn’t quite being honest with himself.

“Okay, but it might happen, right? I mean, his no-trade is locked up pretty tight, but you’re young. Shit happens.”

Jamie nods sadly.

“But Jamie…I think you need to understand that Ethan loves you more. More than hockey, more than the Huskies. It would be a sacrifice, sure…but it would be one he’s happy to make.”

He looks at me for a long moment, then suddenly seems to understand something.

“One he’s happy to make…or one you’re happy to make?”

Yes. Both. Neither.

I laugh under my breath and look downward, to where my bare feet are hooked over the bottom rung of the stool.

“Look, I’m being ridiculous. We haven’t even been together for three months. Hell, he wasn’t, like, officially my boyfriend until last night.”

“And unofficially?”

I press my lips together and look up at him.

“I…I haven’t been with anyone else since October.”

His eyes widen and his hand flies to my forehead, as if to check for a fever.

“I’m sorry, sir. I think it’s a terminal case.”

That gets me laughing, laughing like I haven’t since the last time Finn left Des Moines. Stomach aching from it, I look back to Jamie.

“Just…trust that he means it, okay? No one wants you traded at all, least of all Ethan, but if it happens? You’re stuck with him, and he won’t regret a thing.”

Jamie smiles and leans forward, giving me a hug. And there in his kitchen I know – he’s stuck with me, too, no matter how far apart we might be.

That night, we go out to a little Somali restaurant on Franklin Avenue, a place with counter service and wooden booths. It’s a rare moment where Finn has tried something before me, and as I eat the rich stews and spice-filled sambusas, I can’t help but wish we’d been able to experience this for the first time, together. Jamie asks Finn to take a picture of him and Ethan together and, surprising me a bit, Finn asks him to return the favor.

Stomachs full, we head back to the house in Loring Park, where we retire to the bedrooms on opposite ends of the house. Laying side-by-side, Finn and I kiss late into the night, until I finally wrap a hand around us both, bringing us off together.

Over the next two days, the four of us get a chance to just…be. We play video games and eat junk food and just generally enjoy being together in a space where no one’s concerned about who we are or who we’re with.