Page 101 of The Tryout

Ultimately, the score ends up at 4-1, with Markie getting a nice one-timer off an assist from Finn in the third. The locker room is raucous, with more people talking to Finn or slapping his back than I’ve seen so far this year. I can’t help but be cynical, wondering where they all were when he was carrying our asses for the first two months of the season.

Probably still trying to buddy up to Briggs.

I can see from the look in his eyes that Finn is tired, not just from his travel but also from the crowd of people and their noise level. I grab my bag and walk over to his locker, having no problem pushing my teammates out of the way.

“Hey, can you grab me some ice? Knee’s a little tight after that game.”

I make eye contact, hoping he knows I’m exaggerating. He smiles, which is promising.

“Sure, no problem.”

As he heads to the training room, I grab his bag too. Novak catches my eye from his own locker nearby.

“Yeah, your knee really seems to be giving you trouble.”

I give him a wry grin.

“What can I say? I have a high pain tolerance.”

He rolls his eyes, then makes a gesture as if to shoo me out of the locker room.

“You kids have fun, be safe!”

A blush forms on my cheeks as I head to the door, flipping him a middle finger as I go.

Less than thirty minutes later, I’m in my favorite place – lying on the couch, ice on my knee, Finn wedged between me and the back of the couch. On the TV, the Huskies are playing in Calgary, the game not yet done thanks to the time zone difference. Minnesota is winning 3-1 in the third, and it doesn’t look like Calgary’s going to be able to pull it out.

I grab the remote and hit the mute button, deciding there’s a conversation we need to have.

“Can we talk about what you said on the phone?”

For a moment, I think he’s fallen asleep. After a few seconds, though, he pushes himself up to look at me, eyes droopy but awake.

“Which part?”

I think back to when I made him say the words and realize I deserve this.

“About us having sex.”

The fact of the matter is Finn’s mention of sex – of anal sex, I mean – had taken me by surprise. As I’d told him, there’s so much trust in that act, and I very distinctly feel the pressure of living up to his expectations.

“What about it? Or do you want to…”

The sentence drifts off, as though even he isn’t sure how it should end.

“Not tonight. I think we’re both too tired for that. But I also feel like we should talk about it a little more.”

He nods. I take a deep breath, starting the conversation that’s been running through my head for the past few days.

“There are some things that I want to clarify before we do that.”

He looks at me, questioning.

“Sure, no problem.”

I can’t help but remember our first few weeks together, when Finn had been so careful and guarded. Here, wrapped in each other, he’s so open.

“I guess I want to reiterate first that I think it’s totally fine to have a mutually satisfying physical relationship without that particular act. If you’re happy with what we’re doing, there’s no reason for you to do that to make me happy.”