Page 39 of Nothing to Lose

“You’re right. It is okay.” Then he’s closing the final few inches between us, his hand sliding behind my neck, yanking me forward until his lips crash against mine. I’m momentarily stunned, and it takes me more than a second before my brain and my body compute what’s happening. But then my arms are wrapping around his waist as his mouth claims my own, out in the open, in the center of the school, directly under the Veritas Tree. Ravens croak from above us, the wind dancing around our feet, swirling upward as if the school itself is happy and supportive of this. I don’t believe in fate or magic, or the universe being in control, but it’s hard not to question whether or not there’s more at play here than just us.

Eli breaks the kiss, dropping his forehead to mine, his grasp on my neck strong and possessive. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s okay that I love you. The only thing I have to lose is you. And I can’t let that happen because of my own fear. No more hiding.”

I smile, because how could I not, and nod, tears trickling down my face. We’ve got a lot to figure out ahead of us, but together, I have no doubt we’ll make it work.

Chapter 23

Eli

Months later.

“Fuck yes, boys! That’s how it’s done!” I cheer, hugging and slapping the backs of my teammates as we accept our new national title. We flew all the way to Texas, and the heat here had nothing on us. Ever since that forced team-bonding weekend in October, our gameplay was completely different. Instead of playing like individuals out to prove something, we started playing like one unified team with one shared goal. Everything changed after that. We started winning and never stopped. Now we’re the crowned national title winners, and it feels so fucking good.

“What a way to end your rugby career!” I yell to Silas over the cheers and screaming.

“Could have been a whole hell of a lot worse, that’s for sure!” Asher Ambrose, his former tutor and the reason why he was so distracted, pushes through us, wrapping his arms around Silas’ neck. The two of them embrace before Silas kisses him, and I can’t help but smile at the two of them. Turns out, Hunter and I weren’t the only gay players on the team, and all of us coming out within weeks of each other wasn’t the end of the world. Or our positions. Or our careers. I found myself really grateful for the community here because it was a soft place to land when my head was telling me I had nothing but bricks below me. The only person who’s made any of it weird is Rome, but are we honestly surprised? He’s a mega dick. Probably could use some, but hey, who am I to judge?

Strong arms wrap around my torso and lift me off the ground like I weigh nothing. “We did it, baby!” Hunter’s warm voice wraps around me, and I instantly calm. He drops me down on my feet, and I spin, yanking him for a hard kiss.

“We fucking did it!”

“I’m so goddamn proud of you! I wish you could have seen yourself.” The pride in his voice stings my eyes.

“He’s right, son, you played like a pro, we’re so proud of you!” I spin to find my dad and Hunter’s mom, Gwen, standing behind us, his arm slung around her shoulders. He releases her to pull me into a hug, slapping my back twice. “You both played your hearts out; it’s a well-deserved win.”

“So proud of you both,” Gwen says as she pulls Hunter in for a long hug, rubbing his back. Hunter returns the embrace, a huge smile on his face as he does that makes my heart swell. We waited until Christmas break to tell them about us and did so in person. They were rightfully shocked, my dad more so than Hunter’s mom, who suspected Hunter had feelings for me last summer but didn’t bring it up to him. It lessened the blow when Hunter confessed that he’s secretly loved me since the moment he saw me freshman year of college. My dad was understandably concerned about how this was going to look, but when I told him that it wasn’t our problem to worry about other people’s opinions, and that Hunter and I are choosing each other no matter how uncomfortable that may make people, he’d never looked at me prouder.

“We’ll let you guys celebrate. We have an early flight, so we’re going to head back to the room and get some sleep. Don’t party too hard!” We say goodbye to our parents and join the rest of our team, jumping up and down and screaming. After my solo shower, I snuck in a little gift for Hunter to find when he ultimately strips me bare in the privacy of our hotel room. The party moves to the hotel bar after showers, where everyone starts to take shots. I last about one-point-two seconds before I’m giving Hunter the look to get us the fuck out of here.

The elevator dings closed once we’re inside, and then Hunter’s on me, hands diving under my shirt, mouth kissing and sucking on my neck. “Fuck, I’ve been thinking about getting you alone all fucking evening,” he grinds out through clenched teeth. His hands and mouth are everywhere, and when the bell dings again, the doors opening, he picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he carries me down the hall to our bedroom. There’s something so ridiculously sexy about being manhandled by your boyfriend when you’re already a big guy. I fucking love it. Hunter fumbles with the hotel room door and pushes it open, shoving my back against the wall as he attacks my mouth, the door closing behind us.

“Goddamn, why haven’t I fucked you like this yet? At my mercy, up against a wall. I want to bounce this ass on my cock, baby boy, spread you open wide and give you the ride of your life.”

“So fucking do it,” I challenge.

He groans, dropping me to the floor. “Not tonight. Tonight, I’ve got plans for you.” Hunter moves to his suitcase, dropping down to his haunches and pulling out a very familiar toy.

“Hunter . . . why do you have my dildo?”

He tsks, shaking his head. “Oh, baby boy, it’s because we need to celebrate. And I want to fuck you with this while my mouth is wrapped around your big cock.”

Jesus Christ. Every fiber of my being vibrates with need. I sway on my feet as the anticipation of what’s to come flows through me, overriding every other thought.

“Strip.”

With shaky fingers, I pull off my hoodie, dropping it to the ground as I toe off my sneakers, socks, and then push down my joggers, underwear in tow.

“Good boy. Now get up on the bed.” I bite my bottom lip as I follow his instructions, purposefully climbing up the length of the bed on all fours so he can see the jewel in my ass. “Fuck, Eli. You know how to fuck with my head, don’t you? Such a little tease for your big brother. Now, on your back, spread your legs so I can see all of you.”

I sit back on my elbows, bending my knees and spreading them wide open, letting him have a perfect view of my hard cock, jutting up against my abdomen, and the plug in my ass, which has been nudging against my prostate for the last hour. His expression is molten fire. His eyes are heavy-lidded and transfixed between my legs, his spine rigid, hands clenched at his sides. Fuck, he’s hot when he gets like this.

“You want this, Hunt? Tell me, what do you want to do first? Kiss me? Eat me? Suck me? Fuck me?”

“Baby boy,” he tsks. “You know I want it all.”

“Good. Then crawl to me.”

His eyes snap up to mine, flashing with arousal and that challenge and fight I love so much. When he doesn’t immediately move, I reach between my legs, removing the plug and tossing it to the side. I quickly replace it with two of my fingers, letting my head fall back on a long moan as I move them in and out. “Oh, fuck that feels good,” I moan on a long breath. “You want it, Hunt? I’m so fucking ready for you. All you have to do is get on your hands and knees and crawl to me. Show me how badly you want me.” To my surprise, Hunter slowly drops down, his eyes focused on where I’m finger fucking myself. He licks his lips before getting on all fours and starting to crawl. Jesus Christ, the sight of him combined with my fingers filling my ass is nearly ending me. “That’s it. Just like that. Come take what’s yours. I want you so fucking bad.”