Page 15 of Harts & Hurts

“Yeah. Since she has the mechanics down, I tend to step back and let Anistyn handle that. Usually, while she’s changing Melrose, I’ll grab the bottle and heat it up. So we’ve been on our teammate shit—uh, teammate ish.” He corrected himself.

“But she’s only had a few real baths since she’s been in our care.” I felt so ashamed that Melrose was being subjected to only getting sponge baths by Griffin and me. “My mom and Griffin’s mom have both bathed her, but he and I have only given her sponge baths. I know that’s not right. I mean, sometimes, she’s full of boo-boo. I know a sponge bath isn’t—” I broke down with the tears that were based on the guilt I felt. I was failing my sister and my niece.

Gretta’s expression held sympathy. “Take a breath,” she told me. “Having little squirmy babies in water when you’re not confident in your own abilities is scary. Nobody wants a water accident, or worse, a water fatality. If you’ve felt comfortable giving her sponge baths, and you’ve given them to her regularly, you’re doing awesome.”

I wanted to believe her words, but the guilt was still there. “Sometimes, . . . most times, I don’t understand why my sister would pick me. I mean, my mother”—I gestured toward Griffin—“his mother, so many people have more experience.”

She took my hand in hers. “Of course, I didn’t know your sister, so I don’t know why she picked you. But the fact that you want to do right by your niece so badly that it clearly has you locked up in knots is probably the main reason. She knew you would care and would work to do your best. Now, enough beating yourself up about not knowing what you don’t know. None of us know what we don’t know until we learn it. And the two of you knew enough to know that you would need help and guidance. That’s why I’m here—to help and guide you. So we need to cover making bottles, bath times, and hair washing. What else is giving you two the blues?”

I wasn’t in any shape to speak, as I was still wiping at tears and sniffling to regain control of my nose. I was glad when Griffin spoke up.

“Uh, her crib was delivered today. It’s the one from her house . . . where she lived with her parents. She’s been sleeping either in the portable crib or with Anistyn since she’s been with us. We want her to go back to sleeping in her crib.”

“That is best.” Gretta nodded her head. “Okay, so we’ll go over some bedtime strategies and get a routine set up.” Melrose started to fuss as if on cue.

“It’s time for her to eat,” I said.

“What is her feeding schedule?”

I glanced at Griffin, who gave me a blank stare in response. “Schedule? Oh, we don’t have her on a schedule. We just feed her whenever she seems hungry. Should she be on a schedule?”

“No. She doesn’t need to be on a strict schedule. Feeding her when she’s hungry is just fine.” She patted my shoulder lightly. “Trust your instincts, Auntie. You’re doing all right by your niece.”

I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that.

7

Griffin

Gretta and Anistyn kneeled on the side of the bathtub. I held Melrose in my arms, prepared to hand her over to them as the four of us crowded into the bathroom off the main hallway.

“Bathing infants always starts with a baby bathtub. You never want to try to bathe an infant in a regular bathtub.” She lifted the baby bathtub that she’d had us buy into the tub. She gave us information on both the water temperature and the water level before filling up the small pink tub.

Anistyn looked nervous as she clutched the miniature washcloth in one hand and a bottle of plant-based, scent-free, paraben-free, sulfate-free, and sensitive-skin-formulated baby wash in the other. “I need to grab my notebook or at least my phone so I can take notes. I missed so much when I watched my mother bathe her.”

Gretta gave a bark of laughter that caused Melrose to jump a little in my arms. “Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to say anything about notes. You won’t need notes, sugar. You’ll have muscle memory. I’m not here to do; I’m here to guide as you do.” She looked up at me. “Griffin, hand her the baby. Tomorrow, you all will switch spots, and you’ll get the hands-on training. Today, it’s her turn. Hand her the baby.” Gretta took the washcloth and baby wash from Anistyn’s hands.

When her hands were free, I placed Melrose in them.

“Settle her in the water with her back against the back of the tub.” Anistyn settled Melrose in the tub and positioned her like Gretta advised. “Always keep one hand on the baby.” She showed Anistyn how to put the tiniest drop of baby wash on the cloth. Then Anistyn used the washcloth to get into all of Melrose’s nooks and crannies.

Melrose cooed and kicked her little feet. “She likes water,” I commented, a smile on my face at seeing my niece enjoy herself.

“Just like her mother. Ashlynn was a total water baby. She would make me run through the sprinklers with her whenever our parents watered the grass.”

“She was on the swim team in high school too, right?”

“Yeah.” Anistyn’s movements were methodical as she moved the washcloth along Melrose’s skin.

Once our niece was clean, Gretta instructed Anistyn on the safest way to remove Melrose from the tub. The four of us moved from the bathroom into the primary bedroom. Gretta had Anistyn place Melrose on the changing table while she had me grab a sleeper and a fresh diaper.

“Okay,” she said. “Switch places, making sure to keep one hand on Melrose until you’re sure that Griffin is ready to take control.”

Anistyn stepped back as I stepped up. Gretta was both patient and detailed with me when it came to the mechanics of putting a diaper on a wiggly baby. I didn’t get it right the first time, so I was thankful that the diapers had Velcro. I needed a second chance. When I finally got it right, Anistyn stepped next to me and gave me dap. For the first time since we’d learned that we were the ones entrusted to raise our niece, I felt the pressure that had been sitting on my chest lessen. I had been assuring Anistyn that we could do this thing, but until I got that diaper on properly, I wasn’t sure I truly believed it.

Both of us spent some time snuggling Melrose and rocking her in the glider that had come from the nursery in her parents’ home. When her eyes got obviously heavy, and she was close to dozing off, Gretta suggested that Anistyn move her to the crib and give her pats and gentle touches until she drifted off.

Once the baby was asleep, Gretta showed us how to clean out and store the baby bathtub. She went through Melrose’s belongings with us and made recommendations and suggestions on things we could pick up. Finally, she told us she would be back the next evening to help us solidify the bedtime routine, then we would begin working on the morning routine.