Page 71 of The Only Way Out Is Up

“I wouldn’t have had time to build it if you hadn’t been keeping Gestian busy.”

“True.” She cocks her head. “Let’s call that one a tie, then.”

“Why, are you keeping score?”

“Thought about it, but it’s too depressing.”

Another pause.

“Thanks for making nice with the siblings,” I venture. “You’ve charmed Spike, that’s not easy.”

“They’re lovely,” she says. “Makes me wish I’d had brothers and sisters growing up.”

“It has its drawbacks, too.”

“The woman you mentioned, Fara? She took you all in?”

I nod. “We were orphans, or kids who got abandoned.”

“Are there a lot of families like that in the undercity?”

“No. Fara was… different.” I shake my head. “Mostly, kids without people to care for them just die. Somi tries to feed the ones who come to our door.”

She nods slowly, and silence returns. It feels like there’s only one thing to say, but I don’t want to be the one to come out with it.

“I went outside a little bit this morning,” Ky says. She cranes her head back and blinks. “It really is all just… up there, isn’t it?”

For a moment I don’t know what she means, but of course she’s never seen the tiered city from this perspective before. Malkuth, closest and widest, with Yesod and Hod nested within it, one atop the other. Above that, the gaping maw of the Asshole and the rocky roof of the cavern, lost in the darkness behind the lights.

“On Hod we never really think about any of this,” she says. “You can’t see the terminus—the, ah, Asshole—behind the inner wall, and you can’t even see much of Yesod unless you go right to the edge. It’s just us, the sunlamps, and the stone walls.”

“I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t want to look at all this if I didn’t have to.”

Silence again. The central question sucks me in with the inevitability of a sinkhole, and finally I just want to get it over with.

“So we’re fucked, aren’t we?”

“Hmm?” Ky is still staring up at the roof, thinking about the city overhead.

“We’re fucked. You and me. The plan. It’s over.”

“No.” Her voice is adamant. “The entry fee is still safe in the bank. You still have a runic. We’re fighting in the Ascent.”

“I have Star’s thief body. That’s all. It wouldn’t stand a chance against anybody we fought at Venci’s, much less a monster like that fucker Vripiai.” The thought of the giant snake and its smirking master makes my fists clench. “We lost everything—Star’s body, the money, everything.”

“We’re not dead.”

“Weslai is.”

She flinches, real pain on her face. “But we’re not. So we keep trying.” Then she swallows. “I will keep trying. Are you telling me you’re out?”

“No! Not… not exactly. I still want to help”—though maybe it would be smarter not to—“I just don’t see what we can do. If we go into the Ascent and lose in the first round, or however it works, they’ll kill you, won’t they?”

“Probably.” She sets her jaw. “How did you manage to build Star in the first place?”

“Slowly. I scavenged pieces from the Heap, bought a few with spare bits. Eventually I went after a few bounties.”

“Bounties?”