Page 66 of One More Time

‘I better watch out, or you’re going to make me fat.’ His chuckle sounded a little strangled.

‘That’s the plan.’ Placing the bowl back on the table, she ran a hand over his bald head. ‘You rest now. I’ll be back soon to check in on you.’

‘Okay.’ He held her gaze. ‘Thank you, Grace, for everything.’

‘You don’t need to thank me all the time, Charlie.’ She was on the brink of tears but blinked faster. ‘Just as you’d do anything for me, I feel the same about you.’

‘You do?’ Optimism flooded his pain-filled gaze. ‘Really?’

There was so much hidden meaning behind his three simple words that Grace found herself briefly taken aback, but she wasn’t about to lie to him when he was asking if she loved him as deeply as he’d always loved her. ‘Yes, Charlie, I do. Very much.’

‘That makes me a very happy man.’ His cherubic expression spoke as much.

Grace gave his hand a squeeze. If he did leave this earth, she wanted him to go as exactly that – a happy man who knew just how profoundly he was loved.

With Charlie’s eyes drifting closed, she sat for a few more moments and silently prayed. If she could take his place, she would. But here she was – with her two beautiful boys about to fly the nest, and Ava readying herself to head off to university to achieve her goal of becoming a psychologist after a gap year spent with her grandparents in the UK – watching the only man who had ever owned every piece of her heart, fighting like hell to live, but possibly dying right before her very eyes. Even though they’d had their fair share of time torn apart, she didn’t know what she’d do if she lost him forever. Death was a finality she wasn’t ready for when it came to Charlie. She instinctively knew they still had so much life to live, together. If she were being completely honest with herself, she’d always known that. And once he made it through this, she was going to tell him.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of bedside visits, fighting emotions, hiding in the pantry crying, chores, more praying, phone calls to her parents and Hope, all while playing host to a couple of local well-wishers calling in to check on Charlie, and to also see how she was coping. Now, close to midnight, after falling into her bed an exhausted mess then tossing and turning for hours, Grace finally gave up on the prospect of sleep. Rising, she tiptoed out of the room and along the hall, avoiding the places that creaked so as not to wake the children or Charlie, and downstairs for a cup of hot chocolate and some fresh air.

Waiting for the jug to boil, she looked to the silvery glow of moonlight shining through the part in the curtains. None of this made any sense. Why would god bring Charlie back to her and rekindle their love, when she had the biggest chance of losing him? It was so unfair. So cruel. She’d lost Rodger in the most shocking of ways, and she still carried the heartbreak that came with that, but losing Charlie, especially like this, she just couldn’t bear to think it.

Tears stung beneath her heavy lids, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the threat of them. She’d cried so much this past month, surely she didn’t have many tears left. Stuff the hot chocolate, she needed something stronger. So she poured herself a big glass of white wine and took a long sip.

Suddenly desperate to hear a familiar, friendly voice, she padded over to the cordless phone and dialled the number at the forefront of her mind. It rang four times, and she was just about to hang up, when her best friend’s sleepy voice carried down the line.

‘Hey, Jenny, it’s me. I’m so sorry to call so late, but …’ Her sobs rose and this time, she allowed herself the freedom to weep.

‘Don’t be silly, you know you can call me anytime.’ Jenny’s voice was laced with sympathy. ‘Is everything okay with Charlie?’

‘Yes. No. Yes and no.’ Grace knew she was waffling.

‘Oh, my beautiful friend, how can I help?’ Jenny’s voice broke and she sniffled. ‘I hate hearing you so upset.’

‘You’ve been here for me so much, there’s really nothing more you can do, Jen.’ Taking a sip from her glass of white wine, Grace plucked a tissue and wiped at her cheeks. ‘I’m so sick of feeling like an emotional basket case, but I’m terrified of losing him.’

‘You’re not an emotional basket case, Grace. You love that man with every breath you take and always have, so of course it’s going to tear you apart, watching him suffer.’

‘I just feel so helpless,’ she whimpered.

‘Would you like me to come over and we can cry together?’

‘You’re the best Jen, but I’m okay.’ Grace smiled through her tears.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I’m absolutely positive. I just needed to hear your voice and have a good cry.’

‘Well, I’m here anytime, all the time, Gracie. It’s the very least I can do.’

‘Yes, I know you are.’ She kissed the receiver. ‘Thanks, Jen. I love you.’

‘Love you too, bestie.’

Ending the call, Grace took herself and her glass of wine out to the front verandah. For the next two hours, she sipped her wine and searched the sky for shooting stars to wish upon that she and Charlie would live a long, healthy life by each other’s side.

* * *

Four months later, as the sun rose over the Sapphire Mountain Range, casting golden warmth over land and sea, Charlie was woken on the very day he’d find out if he were cancer-free by Grace’s five-month-old toy poodle, a tiny puppy resembling a furry ball of black yarn.