Page 25 of One More Time

‘You’re a good man, Charlie, they did a great job raising you.’ Grace placed a supportive hand on his leg. ‘I’ll be sure to bake her my peach flan when she gets home. And my beef stroganoff, I know how much she loves it.’

‘That will be lovely, Grace. You and Grandma are so alike, taking care of people.’ Hearing the kettle whistling, he rose and strode toward the kitchen. ‘Be back in a jiffy,’ he called over his shoulder.

‘Charlie, are you home?’ A voice carried through from the front door. ‘It’s me, Mary Jasper.’

‘Yes, Mary, I’m coming.’ Charlie dropped the sugar into the teacup and rushed to the door. It wasn’t usual for Mary to pop by with his Grandma away. ‘Hi.’ Mary’s grave face shocked him, and he took a split-second to recover as he pushed the screen door open. ‘Is everything okay?’ he asked, stepping out onto the porch.

Mary’s bottom lip quivered. ‘No, Charlie, it’s not.’ Her voice trembled. ‘But I don’t want to talk about it out here.’ Clutching her handbag as if her life depended upon it, she managed a sad smile. ‘Can we please sit?’

Mary looked as if she were about to faint. ‘Of course, sorry, come in.’ Charlie’s heart kick-started into a wild gallop as he led her down the hallway and into the lounge room. ‘Grace, Mary’s here.’

Flicking her eyes open, Grace sat up a little straighter. ‘Oh, hey Mary.’

‘Hi, my dear,’ Mary replied. ‘You don’t look well.’

‘I’m a little under the weather, but Charlie is taking me to the doctor this afternoon.’

Mary regarded her thoughtfully. ‘That’s good, dear.’

Charlie gestured to the armchair as a place for Mary to sit, then got himself settled opposite her, alongside Grace, who sat up beside him and looped her arm into his. Charlie gave her hand a pat – a silent gesture of thanks.

He was doing his best not to overthink the impromptu visit. Even though Mary was his grandma’s best friend, and a kind-hearted lady who meant well, she was also the town gossip, so it could be any number of things.

‘So, Mary, tell us what’s happened?’ He took a breath as he watched her fidgeting, as if trying to find the right words.

It’s your grandmother, Charlie.’ She blinked faster. ‘I’m afraid she’s had a stroke.’

Charlie shot to his feet. ‘What? How, when?’ He shoved his hands through his hair.

‘This morning.’ Mary looked to Grace, now standing at Charlie’s side, then back to Charlie. ‘Your aunt called an ambulance, but … she didn’t make it, Charlie.’ Tears fell, and she dabbed at her cheeks with a hanky. ‘They tried to get in touch with you, but couldn’t, so they called me. I’m ever so sorry.’

Sorry…

The word just didn’t cut it. Devastated, heartbroken, crushed, was more fitting. Besides, he was the one who should be sorry, not being by his grandma’s side as she passed from this life into the next. His mind spinning out of control, Charlie fought to draw a breath. He simply couldn’t fathom his grandma’s tender heart not beating anymore. He couldn’t imagine never hearing her voice again, or her contagious laughter, or feeling the touch of her hand on his cheek as she gave him her wise advice.

Grace said something he didn’t take in as her arm came around him, as if to somehow hold him up. He felt as if he were slipping, about to tumble off a cliff into the unknown. And that terrified him way more than facing bullets.

She didn’t make it, Charlie…

Mary’s shocking words circled his mind, like a shark homing in on its prey. The world as he knew it crumbled into a million tiny little pieces as his heart split completely in two. This couldn’t be happening, especially not so soon after losing his grandfather. How cruel the world could be.

He had no idea how he was ever going to say goodbye to the woman who’d taught him what unconditional love was, or if he’d ever come back from the pain of that. His beloved grandmother, taken way too soon. Just like his grandfather. Just like his mother. What kind of god would do such a thing, again, and again, and again? He would never, ever pray again.

CHAPTER

8

April 1977

Killing the engine and winding his window up, Charlie climbed from his Valiant and strode through the wrought-iron gates of the cemetery. It had been almost eight months since Mary had delivered the news of his grandmother’s sudden death and he’d never let a week pass without making a visit to her grave.

Her death had been a sucker-punch to his world, blowing all the happiness out of him. Even working himself to the bone at the car yard wasn’t taking his mind off the heartache, nor was being awarded salesman of the month recently.

No matter what he did or how deeply Grace loved him, or how hard he tried to pretend he was managing, he just couldn’t seem to unshackle himself from the heavy pit of his grief. He knew, deep down, there was way more to his sadness, but he equally understood that there was nothing he could do about it. He’d made his choice to quit the army and he had to find a way to live with that.

He traipsed across the pristine lawn of Sapphire Bay’s only cemetery, holding his hat against the gusty wind. His grandma’s final resting place was one of ambivalence for him. It was where he had to face his grandparents’ eternal absence from this life, but it was also a place where he could voice his innermost thoughts and worries without fear. And he needed that release. There was so much going on at the back of his mind, things that even his sweet Grace didn’t know of – couldn’t know of – and, so help him god, never would know of.

If only his grandma could answer him, though. He could do with some of her loving guidance, because in less than two weeks, he was going to be a dad, which both elated and terrified him. What if he couldn’t cut it? What if he turned out like his father, a deadbeat who did nothing but hurt his child? What if his shortcomings made Grace fall out of love with him? He couldn’t bear the thought.