Page 103 of Road to Absolution

“You can. I swear it.”

“I need to hurt someone as bad as I hurt!”

“You gotta ride, brother. Let’s go ride.”

“Fuck the bike!”

“She’s offering you freedom, Mav. Let’s try her again.”

“It’s too much!”

Full of compassion, he spoke into my ear. “I know. That’s why ya gotta trust me.”

Out of breath, I finally nodded. I trusted him. There was no denying that.

I left the heavy bag swinging in the gym and went to the gift my wife bought me.

Diesel was already waiting on his bike. Mine and Scorch’s already running. The headlights shining through darkness and to the open gates as if a map of light.

My Prez nodded. “I won’t lead you wrong. Like you trust Scorch, you gotta trust your bike.”

Doubting all of this, I tiredly sat on my bike.

Diesel said, “She’s offering you power no one else can. She’s offering you speed no one else can. She’s offering you a rush of air, no one else can. She’s offering a way to shut out the world. Breathe all that in and you will find freedom.”

Either this was going to work, or I was going to need a straight jacket, so I kicked up the stand and decided to trust…

I could feel my bike crush gravel under her. I felt her grip the ground and offer a sturdiness. The headlight glared, daring anyone to fuck with me. Her rumble melted away every other noise. A cool breeze floated around me, asking for my lungs to open.

They did.

Fresh air seeped into my lungs, clearing my mind of all that had just clouded it.

To my left, Diesel grinned, and spoke over the engines. “There. Now she has touched your soul.”

Tucker had to start going back to work in his dad’s office. Viola had already returned to her office, counseling children. Life was getting back to normal, for some. Lilah and I were trying to adjust to everything being so new.

“You feelin’ it’s el time-o?”

My pro boxing team had moved on while I slept for a month. Before the accident, I had spent endless hours with them. Now that I couldn’t box, I was only a part of their past. Lilah showed me some cards I had received, but by the time I woke up, any flowers sent were dead. Not that I wanted to see flowers. I wanted to see their caring faces…

Back in the gym, much saner this time—I was with wrapped wrists and sweating at a speed bag. It was bittersweet. It felt good to be working my fists. It felt wrong to be alone while doing it. Again, I was losing my father… “I miss it.”

Knuckles was with Diesel, of course smiling, but this time it was a hungry smile.

Gripping the small leather bag to stop it, I almost hung from it, staring at Knuckles. “You’re a fighter.”

Diesel’s expression filled with a pleasant shock. “How’d ya know?”

Letting go of the bag, I peered down, my chest aching. “For some of us, it’s an addiction.”

Sucking on his upper row of teeth, the older man gave a nod full of respect. “Damn straight.”

Wishing I wasn’t hoping the answer was no, I asked him, “Still goin’ rounds?”

With a hidden frustration I understood, he shrugged. “Rarely. Ain’t what I once was.”

Full-heartedly, I said, “Sorry to hear it, man.”