Page 73 of Bleed Me
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Winter had ended, and we were getting closer to having a baby enter our crazy family. The why of my mental gradual slide backward was unknown to me back then, but spiral I did. It seemed Justice was even stronger than I knew. That all became clear after a nightmare…
“Every time you cry, Kenny, I am gonna lick your face. Maybe that will get you to stop bitching.” It was Jarrod’s way of preparing me for all that was to come. I was seven, on my knees, in front of a full-grown man and his erection. “Open your mouth and try again.”
I begged myself to stop crying so the torture would end. “Is my mommy coming home soon?” I was worried about Jenny. I could hear her crying in her crib in my mom’s bedroom.
Sweating and out of breath, I sat up in bed. My left hand searched the bed, looking for my anchor, but she wasn’t there. Switching on a lamp on my nightstand, I found Justice asleep in a chair. She held a gun in her lap.
I jumped out of bed, “Babe?” rushing to her.
Justice jolted in the chair, looking very confused until she saw me. Then, she cowered. The sight of me had my girl recoiling in the chair as if I was a threat that she didn’t know how to battle like she did everything else in her life.
I stopped in my tracks. “Oh shit.”
Justice grabbed her chest with one hand while the other set the gun on a little table. “You okay?”
My head tilted. “Are you?”
“Yeah.” She forced a slight smile. “Of course.”
She was lying. My heart screamed it, so I dropped to my knees in front of her. “You once told me one lie would change us.”
“I’ve never lied to you.”
“Not just now?”
Affectionately, her fingers ran through my longer hair. “Nope. I’m fine. With you.”
“Okay, I will believe that, but I’m also starting to think if I’m not asking the right questions, I may not be getting the full story.” My heart was hammering against my ribcage. “So, I am asking you this. What did I do to you last night?”
Her thumb ran gently over my lips. “You had a rough night. That’s all.”
“I only remember sleeping.”
With such sympathy, she kept touching me. “I know.”
“Babe. Did. I. Hurt. You?”
“No.” She kissed me. “No.”
“Then why the gun?”
“Precautions. I hadn’t met him yet.”
My upper body folded into her lap. I could feel my world turning in directions I didn’t want. “How many of my personalities do you know?”
A shaky breath was exhaled. “Four.”
My already bent legs wanted to crumble, so I laid even heavier in her lap, squeezing my eyes shut. “How long have you been dealing with them?”
Her whisper will haunt me always. “All along.”
“Jesus… Justice, why was last night hard for me—for him?”
“Because… he learned about Jenny.”
A part of me wished I hadn’t asked. Maybe I could have avoided what happened next.
