Page 22 of Grumpy Santa
“You are outrageously large.”
“I haven’t heard you complaining when you’ve been coming all over it.”
She shudders.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I say.
“Which one?”
“You don’t believe I’m your narwhal?”
“No, I did. I do. Meeting you the first time was like getting hit in the head with it. But I questioned my instincts when you never seemed interested. It would be the saddest of all to find your one, but for them to not return your feelings.”
“I agree. Are you going to admit it now?”
“Admit what?”
“That you’re in love with me too.
She rolls her eyes. “I’m stupidly in love with you. Happy?”
“Very.”
“You’re going to make us get married now, aren’t you?”
“Do you want to get married?”
“Of course I do. I just didn’t want to be an obligation.”
“Never an obligation. A choice. My choice. Again and again. And my partner. In all things,” I say, then kiss her forehead.
“Then we definitely need to talk about me getting a raise at the shop.”
epilogue
Audrey
Two weekends later I find myself in the living room of my childhood home, sitting side-by-side with Jared across from my parents.
He wanted to tell them immediately, but I wanted some time for just the two of us to settle in to being a real couple.
It’s been amazing. The sex is unreal. According to one of the main pregnancy books that Jared bought us, it is very common for a woman to have increased arousal while pregnant because of the extra blood flow to her nether regions.
I don’t know if it’s that or if it’s just because Jared is sexy and insatiable. Yesterday before we opened the shop, he bent me over that couch in the back room and pounded into me until I was a quivering mess.
Oh damn, I probably shouldn’t be thinking about that in my parent’s living room. I tune back into the conversation in time to hear Jared say:
“With all due respect, sir, I don’t want to be her narwhal. I’d much rather be her penguin or wolf or gibbon.”
My mother hides a smirk behind her coffee cup.
“You wanna explain that?” my dad asks.
He’s feigning irritation, my dad, to put Jared on the spot. Trying to be the stereotypical father to make his daughter’s boyfriend nervous. But my Jared, he doesn’t miss a beat.
“Narwhals don’t mate for life and scientists don’t believe they’re monogamous.”
My dad nods as if they are two men legitimately discussing the merits of monogamous animals. What is happening right now? My mother catches my gaze and winks.
