Page 47 of Mesmerized

“Don’t make a fool of yourself, Pamela,” he bit out.

Her eyes widened, and anger flashed in them. “How dare you! Let go of me!”

“Gladly.” He released her wrists and stepped back.

“Are you going to try to tell me that you’re in love with that chit?” she cried, her cheeks flushed with rage.

“I am not trying to tell you anything, Pamela. What you do, what you say, what you think, is of no interest to me.”

“Of course. You want to hurt me. I realize that. I hurt you all those years ago, and it is only fitting that you retaliate.”

“I have no—”

“No.” She raised a hand, drooping artistically against the back of a chair. “What I did to you was terribly wrong. I knew it. I regretted it as soon as I had done it. But then you were gone. I could not take it back, however much I wanted to.”

“Pamela, please, don’t—”

“I must,” she said quickly, turning away from him. “I never loved Roderick, not as I loved you. I was foolish, I admit that. I was only a girl, and my head was turned by the dazzle of a title...jewels, gold.” She sighed. “As I said, I was very young. It did not take me long to discover how little any of those meant when I was sharing my life, my bed, with a man I did not love. I had years to regret what I had done. Every day I wished it was you by my side, not him. Every time he kissed me or touched me, I pretended it was you. Always.”

“Stop it.” Stephen’s voice was clipped. “You are humiliating yourself to no purpose.”

He walked over to her and put his hand on her arm, turning her around. Her blue eyes were aswim with tears, and her face was soft and vulnerable, her pink lips trembling.

Grimly, Stephen said, “I am sure that many other men would be entranced by the picture you present. Try it on one of them. Not me. You forget, Pamela. I know you. I know that you are always playing a part, always angling to get the advantage of someone else. No one can really know you, because you would as soon lie as speak the truth.”

“I’m telling you the truth right now. I swear it!”

“Then I am sorry for you, for you’ve lived a very unhappy life, all of it of your own making.”

“I have,” Pamela agreed earnestly, reaching out to take his hand. “But I learned from my mistakes. I know now that all I want is you.”

Stephen grimaced. “I am sure that is true, since the title and wealth and jewels are now mine.” He pulled his hand from hers. “It doesn’t matter. Whether I believed you or not, it simply doesn’t matter. I have no feeling for you anymore.”

Pamela stared at him, shocked. “No... Stephen, that can’t be true. You love me.”

“I was infatuated with you, and it was a very long time ago. I feel nothing now.” He turned and walked out the door, leaving Pamela staring, openmouthed, after him.

* * *

THEY GATHERED IN the same room that evening for the séance. As they started to take their accustomed places, Stephen said evenly, “I thought, Madame Valenskaya, that we might sit differently this time. I would very much like to sit beside you. I think it would help me understand what you do better. Don’t you?”

“No!” Madame Valenskaya’s eyes widened in alarm at his words. “I mean, it would not work. I must haff close de ones who believe.”

“Indeed.”

“Yes,” Irina said flatly. “Mr. Babington and I must sit on either side of Mama. It creates a better link, you see, to the spirit world. A disbeliever at her side would break the connection. The chain.”

“Then perhaps Lady St. Leger could take your place. You would like that, wouldn’t you, Mother?”

Lady St. Leger smiled. “Why, yes, dear, that would be very nice. If that is all right with you, Madame.”

“Is not good,” the medium said hesitantly.

“Or Belinda,” Stephen went on, pleasantly unyielding. “Or Lady Olivia, perhaps.”

“No. No. Not her.” Madame Valenskaya’s eyes cut to Olivia and quickly away. “Irina sits here. And Mr. Babington.”

“But Lady St. Leger is a believer. Surely it would not make any difference if she sat beside you.”