Page 49 of Hot & Heavy

Her eyes welled up with tears, which she wiped away. " 'Tis nice of you to say so, but he has four children now with his second wife."

"If it had been me, I would have performed a Lorena Bobbit on him before I danced out the door,"

Amber said.

"Except I would have used a butter knife," Dolores added.

"What is a Lor… that thing she mentioned," Maddie asked him.

Why me? Ian sighed at the impossible situations this woman kept putting him in. "Lorena Bobbit was a woman who whacked her husband's pecker off while he was sleeping."

At first Maddie's eyes went wide; then she clapped her hands with glee. "I wish I had thought of that."

Time to get back to the subject they'd been on. "Yasmine…"

"Aaarrgh!"

"Maddie. Are you a terrorist?"

She gave him a long, considering look. "No."

"Then you'll probably be freed tomorrow, and you can go anywhere you want."

"How will I get there? Will you take me home?"

Ian had no idea where "home" was, but it really didn't matter. His silence was his answer.

Her shoulders slumped. "It would do no good anyway. I must needs raise an army first. Steinolf will not give back my estates willingly."

Ian refused to ask who Steinolf was. The woman must be a little bit crazy. "An army? You don't ask for much, do you?"

"In truth, you and your hird of seal soldiers would suffice. My people would follow you if you taught them your fighting skills. What a sight that would be! Norstead would be mine once again."

Norstead? I won't even ask what country that is in. "Listen, we're putting the cart before the horse."

At the questioning tilt of Maddie's head, he elaborated, "We're jumping to conclusions. First the general has to release you."

Her eyes said he was lower than a snake's belly. "And once he does, then what?" she inquired in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "You are not leaving here without me."

He had no answer to that.

But JAM did. "I could help, if it came to that."

Ian refused to ask, but the others had no compunction about hearing JAM's solution. "God save me from my friends," Ian muttered, throwing his hands up in disgust. He had a sinking feeling he was not going to like JAM's answer.

And he was right.

"Even though I left the seminary, I am still able to perform baptisms, last rites and…"

Ian groaned.

The others grinned.

"… civil marriages."

"So, you could do a quicky wedding if you had to?" Sly asked. He was grinning so wide, you could have stuck a plate in his mouth.

JAM nodded, entirely serious.