Page 18 of Viking Unchained

“I don’t think there’s any logical explanation. Not today. Maybe sometime in the future. We’ve all decided it’s just a miracle performed by God, possibly in cooperation with the Norse gods.”

“Huh?”

Torolf punched him in the upper arm. “Exactly. So, are we on tonight for the Wet and Wild?”

“Will there be women there?”

“Yes. Why?”

“My enthusiasm is on the rise.” And I am bloody damned tired of pleasuring myself.

“Your enthusiasm? Oh, shit! That’s what my brother Ragnor used to say when—”

“Yea, the male sap is running.” And running and running. “Mayhap I can find an equally enthusiastic wench to tup. I have not engaged in a good swiving in more than six months.” I should have taken a erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

woman when I had a chance back in Baghdad.

Torolf groaned and put his face in his hands.

His cousin did that betimes when Thorfinn said something exceedingly wise. Leastways, that was his opinion.

So he continued, “Especially since you told me about birthing control in this country. Praise the gods, I do not have to fear being wedlocked to some woman just because we shared the bed furs.” Someone like Hilda, gods forbid.

“I don’t think there’s anything to fear in that regard. Modern women are not going to jump with joy at the prospect of being wedlocked with you.”

“Why do you say that? I am handsome, or so women have said. I have much wealth . . . if my arm rings and sword are worth what you say they are. And I have talents.”

“Talents?” Torolf choked out.

“For bedplay, of course.”

“Mercy!”

“Best I go change into my tunic and braies if we are going out.”

“No, no, no. You look just fine in jeans and a T-shirt, but, please, could you put your hair in a ponytail or something? Those war braids and crystal beads attract too much attention. And do not even think of bringing that frickin’ sword with you.”

“All these orders . . . you exceed yourself, cousin.”

“Yeah, well, somebody has to put you straight. Another thing, you walk in the wrong neighborhood and some two-bit mugger is gonna kill you for those gold armbands alone. Do you have any idea how much they’re worth?”

“How much?”

“A half a mil each, give or take a hundred thousand or two.”

“Is that a great deal of coin?”

“That is a hell of a lot of coin. You could buy a small country.”

“Why would I want to buy a small country?”

“Aaarrgh! Would you just make an effort to fit in?”

“Torolf, what has happened to you? Have you no shame in denying your Vikinghood?”

“Vikinghood? That’s a good one. No, I’m not ashamed of my heritage, but I don’t have to shout it out.”

“Then why do you not own even one longship?”